Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Inaugural blog: or what cape goes with this color spandex

As a bookseller I’ve played the role of guide (“I’m looking for something new, interesting, and exotic, what do you have?”), priest (“I love her/him so much, but s/he just doesn’t understand me. What should I do?” Please note: the company does not condone molestation of the customers no matter how drool-worthy the person might be), psychic (“I’m looking for this book…” trails off into silence), babysitter (“You kids stay in this section while mommy goes to Victoria Secrets.”), and an occasional target (“Don’t tell me to get back in line.” Thwap), but my retail multiple personalities never get a chance to range beyond the four walls of the bookstore.

Well, screw that. It’s time to spread my cape and fly into the stratosphere. It’s time to tell the world what it is really like to hawk Harry Potter, company cards, sell your soul to sell a book, and deal with some of the rudest people on the planet: the literate (funny how they happen to be some of the nicest, too). There will be no chain names (unless it is a company comparison) and no place for the mild-mannered alter-egos, just Bookseller Chick, defender of the literary world, and her (mis)adventures, thoughts, and recommends…

Which will hopefully be a lot more interesting than these above paragraphs (and with a much smaller helping of grandstanding).

There are only these rules:

1. You do not talk about Fight Club. (Oops, sorry Mr. Palahniuk.) You do not talk about or address Bookseller Chick’s alter-ego as she is shy, easily frightened, and doesn’t want to lose her job.

2. Keep it clean. BS Chick does not want to have to play editor chick (it’s not her strong point).

3. This is a blog on books, book people, and the book industry. If you have a question, please ask (I’ll try to find someone who actually knows the answer). If you have some knowledge, please tell. If you want to bitch, fine, just follow rule number two and I won’t have a problem.

4. If you know someone who likes the name Jeeves (or some English butler-type derivative), and has editorial capabilities that meet or exceed those of BS Chick (who likes to leave out whole words while typing), please say so (and leave information on how to contact this person).

Next on the agenda: Harry Potter customer madness or when do I duck and cover.


Joia said...

See, now I would disagree with you on a few counts:

1) BS Chick is a damn fine editor.
2) A little customer molestation never hurt anyone, so long as the customer is a seven-donut man. (There's a clause there that allows for molestation in the course of investigating the possibility of seven-donut status.)
3)Harry Potter customers cannot possibly be responsible for any form of insanity! They are all mild-mannered, sweet-natured, utterly mature individuals with a great deal of self-restraint.

July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16 July 16


Joia said...

Oops. This wasn't keeping it clean, was it? In my defense, you started it. Hehehe...