Thursday, November 17, 2005

Count the books in my bookstore...and other lessons from the wise master.

I’ve got a cold and a headache (and I’ve exhausted all my other attempts at intelligence over at Smart Bitches), so instead doing the book suggestion hidden within a long story I’ll just relate a short story.

Coworker who works exclusively in our calendar store came into work the other day and found the boss and I working in the back. He immediately pulled off his hoodie and turned around. “Is this shirt okay?”

We looked up from our paperwork to see in big block letters across his back “Consumerism Kills.”

“You better leave your sweatshirt on while you’re up there,” the boss answered in a very diplomatic tone. I don’t know how she does it.

After he left I turned to her. “How could he ever think that’s okay? Didn’t his mother teach him that if you have to ask that question the answer is probably “no”?”

The Boss laughed. “I once had to send a guy home to change at my old store for wearing a shirt that said “Eat the Rich”. He was so mad. Kept saying “it’s just a t-shirt!””

“Just a t-shirt. Right. Just like they’re just customers. Customers that can go spend their money somewhere else! Am I the only one living paycheck to paycheck?”

“Ah young one,” my boss said, adopting the tone of a badly dubbed martial arts film, “you have lost the art of not caring, essential to one your age, and replaced it with the art of practicality. You are wise beyond your years, but burdened by your art.”

“So I should count the pebbles in your hand or something?”

“And check every once in awhile to make sure [the coworker] keeps his sweatshirt on. The last thing we need is an irate customer.”

“Yes, Sensei.”

Ahhhh, talking like bad kung fu movies, like poorly planned t-shirts, a staple in bookstore culture. Also a sign of acute exhaustion tempered with too much caffeine.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

When all else fails, use The Crane technique. When properly executed, there's no defense against it.

--The Karate Kid