The Dark Side of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day. A day Hallmark and many others has convinced us means romance and love, a day to show someone you care about them through some sort of memorable occasion. It’s synonymous with candy, hearts, and roses; Cupid and Aphrodite; love. All things romantic.

But it also has a dark side. Ask any woman whose heart has been broken just days before the date because her partner felt that they couldn’t live with the lie during V-day. Ask any man who has been left by his partner for another. Ask any girl who has stared at those long aisles of pink and red, dripping in chocolate and flowers and realized that the longest lasting relationship she’s ever had has been with her heating pad.

Valentine’s Day: it’s not all candlelight, chocolate and oral pleasure.

The Boss and I, being the bitter, jaded book-hags that we are, decided to this dark side must be acknowledged. People needed to know that they weren’t alone, that others cringed at the very word Valentine and desperately wanted the fourteenth to pass without incident. For in our bookstore the start of February was heralded with the sounds of hearts breaking across the state, and slowly they began to drag themselves towards the self-help section.

“He broke up with me because he said I was too old for him,” one woman told me.

“She said I just didn’t understand her needs,” another man said.

For every perky couple browsing the relationship section for the newest book on sexual positions for the romantically inclined, there’s some poor soul limping into the store with a general look of “what the hell just happened?” mixed with “I was just hit by a semi doing sixty around a steep curve and it rolled over my ass.”

It was for these folks that we created the “Dark Side of Valentine’s Day” end cap. It’s not on any promotional planner and it doesn’t follow any planogram laid out by the company. It’s just a collection of titles we think call to those who’ve been through the hell of being dumped right before Valentine’s Day.

The first year we decorated it with the classic break-up lines despite the company’s strict “no handmade signs” policy, or slap-in-the-face comebacks to the “love lines” of all time.

“I feel like you see the real me.”
“Yeah, and I’d like to see less of you.”

“It’s not you. It’s me. Well, okay, it’s you.”

And so and so on. Our top seller that year was Why Do Men Love Bitches? by Sherry Argov. The next year it was He’s Just Not That Into You. This year, in an attempt to add a little humor, we put up the Sweet Potato Queens’ Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide, and we’ve seen a spike in sales for It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken.

There are other books on the end cap, other trends I’ve noticed, but I’ve got to get ready for work, so instead I’ll ask y’all for some input.

What’s your top breakup book of all time?

What’s the pick-up line/breakup line that makes you cringe and your own sarcastic response? You know, the one you are thinking in your head as it happens, or come up with later when you are getting blotto on wine and pouring your heart out to your friends.

This is equal opportunity and open to both sexes, so bring on the answers. There are still eleven more days until Valentine’s Day for me to get this end cap right.