Book Sleuth Search Three: Help a Girl Out Here

Karen recently emailed me asking for help to find a book she read 12 years ago. The plot was not familiar to me, but I thought y’all might be able to lend a helping hand. Here’s her summary:

The story is set in space. Besides ordinary men and women, there is another special race of humans who are stronger and smarter than the normal humans. The main female character is a normal human female who as far as I can remember is in a position of some power. Either she's an officer in their armed forces or a politician or related to some bigwig. She falls in love and marries (I think) a man from the 'superior race' though there is some problem between both groups.

He may be a military operative of some sort. Eventually she decides to undergo a medical procedure of some sort to 'cure' herself and stop loving him so that she can take unbiased decisions.

Though sex can occur between both types children cannot be born without some special procedure which the women can opt for.

At the end of the book there is some sort of court case. The 'super race' male wants her to come back to him while she refuses because she still hates him (because of the medical procedure). She is ordered to live with him and when she asks him how he can force her to live with him when she hates him he tells her that he knows she doesn't really hate him. When she asks him why he is so sure about that, he reminds her that to have children with him she would have to undergo the operation/procedure. No woman can be forced to undergo that. If she had really hated him she would have used that objection to free herself from their 'marriage'.I can't really remember much more. The name of the book may or may not have had the word 'Venus' in it.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?