Bitter, Sure, But Not Gone Yet

First off, some book news that maybe some of you can use. If you haven’t read this post by Booksquare on selling through Amazon to reach more people then you’re missing out, especially if you’re a self-published author. Nine times out of ten when I can’t find a book in the store system, my customer will ask me to just jump on Amazon and look there. They view it as the largest book search system in the world, and anything that does not pop up starts to lose validity with them. So, if you are a self-pubbed/small press author and you want to have your book on Amazon without losing a huge chunk of your profit, go read that post. Maybe this is something that is universally known and I’m just falling behind, but I thought I should put it out there.

Secondly, I’m sorry if my last post gave the impression that I would stop posting after the store closed. I’ve got way too much stuff that I promised to do for y’all on this blog to quit in thirty days! I just can’t give any thoughts on marketing or blockbusters from the behind-the-scenes angle because I’m no longer receiving any of that stuff. The idea that I might not receive anymore free books or be allowed to touch/read the street dates before they come out is giving me hives, man, HIVES. And don’t even get me started about how I feel about losing my discount. Certain members of my family and friend group are already going into mourning.

We’re all going to suffer from a literary decline. Oh to the woe, etc, etc.

We made a decision to not mention our closing to any of our customers before Christmas because, well, it was just too depressing. The signs and the manual explaining the process hadn’t shown up yet, and we were all in a state of denial (an example of which being when I had a twenty minute conversation with a man who recruits for a big company—something he told me four times—and I never asked for his card). We told a few mall employees to get the dirt on what they’d heard—not a whole hell of a lot—but that was it. After Christmas was another story, the signs and the manual still hadn’t shown up, but one of my coworkers worked her mad Word Pad skills and made us something to put up around the store indicating that we were a.) closing and that b.) this meant everything was now discounted. It was then that the denial had to take a back seat to answering questions.

“You’re closing? Why are you closing?”

“They’re going to transfer you to the other store, right?”

“What are they going to put here instead?”

But for every customer who expressed genuine sorrow over our closing or interest in our continued welfare, there was one who said:

“Wait, you mean I’m going to have to walk a few more blocks? But this was so convenient!”

Yes, dear sir or madam, and you are. It’s our company’s way of helping the good fight against obesity in America. Now, if that is your only problem with our closing, please move out of the way so that I can help a customer who will actually miss us and not our convenient location. Next, please!

I mean, I know that it is just a clash of self-interests (mine and the customer’s) that makes that statement so unbearable to me, and that they don’t mean it as a back hand to any and all customer service we’ve provided over the years, but after four or five people repeating verbatim the same thing it starts to get old. When I’m averaging nine or ten people per shift saying that though, it leaves me depressed and bitter.

And I’m not the only one.

It’s damn hard to be motivated when I know that this place I enjoyed coming to—filled with people I enjoyed working with—will be closing soon. The signs are up, and the people are asking questions we can’t answer, so it all begins to sound like a broken record. We’re just starting to get our rhythm back, pulling the stock from the back that sat ignored due to sheer volume before Christmas and starting the returns list. Returning static stock and stripping covers remains cathartic, and eminent demise has led to a relaxed (but still presentable) dress code.

There are still things to take care, still work to be done, and that day to day sense of accomplishment is slowly coming back. But, man, those “you mean I have to walk a few blocks” customers may well turn me into a bitter hag, or at least crack the customer service smile off my face.

I would really hate to end my bookselling career with a News at 11 update “Bookseller loses sanity, rampages through mall!” Think of how it would adversely affect my future job opportunities.

I’d rather not have the judicial system plan my life, but it would offer a great answer to those customers who ask, “What are you doing next?”

Thank you for all your well wishes, and thoughts. Reading your comments over the last couple of days made me alternately well up and smile. Y'all make me feel good, so please excuse the bitter. I'll get over it soon enough.

Closing Time

We got the official word just days before Christmas that they were closing our store. We’ve all done surprise, shock, denial, and are slowly moving into acceptance. In retrospect with one lackluster year almost behind us and two more coming up (due to lots of local construction cutting into our customer base and a sister store so close by), it made sense for our little store to go.

Recognizing this fact doesn’t make this any easier. We all thought we’d leave the store one day, go our separate ways due to school, career or life, but in each scenario we were doing the leaving, not being left behind. The choice would be ours. We would have moved on, and the store, we were sure, would always be there to visit in some form or another. David talked once about how bookstore customers don’t like change, well neither do booksellers. Be the instigators of change? Sure, move a section, try out a new line of books, set up a new display. No problem. But being on the receiving end of change? Thanks, but no. Not if we have a choice.

In this case, however, there’s no choice involved. In thirty days our little store will be no more and we’ll be scattered about. Do we try to find other jobs as booksellers? January is a hellish time to find a job in the retail world with businesses already flush with temporary workers that they must decide whether to keep or let go. Do we move on and find other jobs that may have nothing to do with the book industry? We have to decide soon.

In the end, whether this is the event that nudges us all along on our separate life paths or just another link in the retail chain, I’m glad that I had the opportunity work with some great books, people and customers.

And, of course, I’m thankfully for the chance to meet y’all. Something I never could have done had I not blogged about the various adventures of bookselling. Whether I remain Bookseller Chick or just become the Chick formerly known as Bookseller, it’s been a hell of a lot of fun.

One that I hope will continue in some way or another.

For the next couple of weeks or so, y’all will have to live through the anatomy of a store closing.

I’m still working my way into full acceptance.

Merry Christmas To All!!!!

Holiday signage down? Check.

Sore Feet? Check.

One really weird Christmas Eve sales day over? Check.

Presents wrapped and ready? Check.

Car ride to parents’ home where excellent booze and food reside? Bring. It. On!

Make with the Merry this evening whatever you celebrate and avoid thinking about retail for as long as possible.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

And So It Begins

Working retail is a reinforcement of the lesson that people only hear what they want to hear. Last week, before the title was announced, I had a guy asked me if I had a date/title for the new Harry Potter book. While I’m in the middle of giving him a hard time, his friend walks up and we have the following conversation:

Friend: You’re not asking about Harry Potter book seven again, are you?

Guy: Yeah.

Friend (shakes head): Man…

Me: Yeah, I asked him if he wanted me to laugh now or wait until he left.

Guy: You are laughing now.

Friend: He asks everywhere we go.

Guy looks away.

Friend: But I do have a question. When is the audio book coming out?

Me: The HP book seven audio book?

Friend: Yeah.

Guy cracks up.

Me: Whenever the book does?

Friend: Oh, so it’s not coming out earlier?

Head, meet counter. I should have realized that this was just a sign of what was to come once the title was announced. I’ve done this enough. You would think I would remember. All yesterday, since the title must have been mentioned on the news, I had people coming in, doing their shopping, and I was ringing them up they would ask, “Oh, and could you add the new Harry Potter to that as well?”

“Book Six, The Half-blood Prince, in paperback?”

“No, the new one. I saw it on the news.”

Head, desk. Head, desk. Head, desk.

At least they were really nice about it when I informed them that while the HP had a title, it did not have a street date.

But Enough About the Bad Customers, Let’s Talk About the Good

I’m afraid that my bad customer rant yesterday came off too ranty. Customers, especially customers this time of year, are usually pretty nice. Some even exceed all expectations of coolness, so don’t go feeling sorry for me.

Well, not true. Feel free to laugh at me.

The other day I was selling two copies of Culture Warrior to a customer and I started to say Happy Holidays. The “happy” had just cleared my mouth when it occurred to me that “oh shit, an O’Reilly reader is going to want to hear Merry Christmas,” but I’d spent the last few hours ringing and all I could get out was “Happy…Merry?”

He looked at me for a few seconds and said in a very correct tone, “Or Merry Christmas.”

Unable to get the right words out I just finally told him to have a nice day. I’m such a dork.

What zonks me out this time of year is not the customers, or even the running around, it’s the long periods of time when I stand in one place not moving. Give me a customer with a list and an obstacle course to run around any day instead of three or four hours of standing still and ringing. A long enough rush and I lose all ability to retain a hold on credit cards and speak more than two words in a row, which, oddly enough, are the same symptoms of Caffeine no Havus (something that often strikes those who just refuse to wake up in time).

Yesterday I was suffering from Caffeine no Havus. I’d chosen to befriend my snooze alarm instead of getting out of bed on time, and I was paying for it after I opened. Not only did I have a hard time counting money (if I sleep really deeply the night before it takes me a long time to wake up), but I couldn’t process more than a thought or two at once. After I’d fumbled her credit card and asked her something really inane (like do you want a book for your bag?), the customer I was helping (who did a really good job of hiding her laughter) asked me if I’d gotten enough sleep.

“Sleep wasn’t the problem,” I told her, “I just haven’t had any coffee.”

“Are you giving it up?” she asked, which prompted me to tell my tale of woe and snooze alarm love—something she completely understood—and how the line at Starbucks caused the dreaded co-disease coffee interruptus.

“I’ll get some coffee when a coworker gets here.” Only I think we both knew that I wouldn’t because suddenly there were people in the mall and who wanted help. Neither of us said this out loud though, and she left with her book.

And that could have been that, just a good conversation with a customer where we both laughed—an example of any such conversation I have with the multitudes of good customers that come through my door every day.

But then she came back twenty minutes later with a Venti house coffee with cream and every single type of sugar and sugar substitute in one of those little cardboard carriers, all of which she gave to me.

I almost cried. Swear to God that I got so choked up and Caffeine overwhelmed that I’m not sure I said a proper thank you, or if I should have offered to pay her back or what. I really don’t remember and I can’t say that I’ll even recognize her face again, which kills me.I can, however, immortalize this customer on the internet for any and all to read.

So thank you, customer. Thank you so much. You made my day, and may you have a very Happy Merry.

I’ll pay the coffee forward to the next droopy-eyed victim of Caffeine no Havus I see.

Doing My Homework #9: Questions Answered, Brain (Semi) Functioning

Meant to answer your questions last night, but it became necessary to go out for medicinal sushi to treat the holiday aches and pains from my Manic Monday*. Mmmm, tuna and avocado…in a roll…together.

Heaven.

But anyway, on to the questions:

For Beth, who asks, “What is the worst kind of customer in a book store?” I think that Jen pretty much answered that in the comments when she presented this list:

“There's a variety of bad customers, but the ones that really made us upset and angry, and led to meltdowns in the break room were those who yelled at us or chastized us for something we had no control over - a coupon we couldn't accept, a special order that wasn't there, a sale that didn't work in the manner they thought it would. The worst of those lot were those who wouldn't let us get the manager to see if they could fix the situation. I'd be very surprised if you were one of those, and they aren't specific to book retail.

The specifically book retail baddies also come in a variety, but they mostly boil down to people who don't have enough information about what they're looking for:

- It's got a blue cover, and the word love in the title, and came out recently - sometime in the past 6 months.
- My grandson is 11, he lives far away, I don't know anything about what he's interested in, but he's a good reader."Is he into sports at all?"I really don't know, I don't get to see him often.
- I need a book set in the 1920's for school. (the programs I used to look stuff up didn't deal at all well with this kind of thing)”

Most of us don’t go out of our way to find things wrong with customers (be amused by them, yes, but not dissatisfied with them) because we were probably hired in the first place because our customer service skills were considered above average. So when someone takes us to task for something beyond our control, insults our intelligence, or is a general all-around jerk then they win the worst customer award (and you are definitely not one of those people, Beth). I’ve had customers get all revved up that we didn’t have their special order only for us to later find out that it was really at our sister store a couple of blocks away. I’ve been yelled at for not reading a customer’s mind and grabbing the paperback version of the book despite the fact that she’d specifically ordered the hardcover. I’ve had countless customers get huffy and stare down their noses at me because the book classification system that the store used didn’t match up to what they thought it should be called.

My personal customer pet peeves come down to people who are just plain rude:

-People who don’t get how amusing, weird, and just plain vague it is to ask for that mysterious blue book/novel they saw on TV that one time/thing their friend told them about that was really good and maybe about bunnies/etc. Most people realize they’re not giving us a lot go on and are willing to try anyway, which is great. I love a good mystery and trying to find one book among millions with a customer who has a sense of humor goes a long way towards making me smile for the rest of the day. People who don’t get the inanity, however, and who choose to get pissed because I cannot ordain their book needs immediately get on my nerves.

-People who openly use my bookstore to find what they are going to buy elsewhere, but leave a huge mess for me to clean up anyway. I have nothing against people searching for the best deals and with all the chains trying to cut each other off at the knees with deep discounts and Costco and Wal*Mart beating us all, I can’t blame them. But the people who come into my store, tear apart displays, leave book piles in their wake, and take up valuable foot traffic space by standing around and laughing at whatever they are reading only to exclaim—loudly—“let’s go buy this at Store X,” before leaving make me want to do damage. I’ve seen it a lot this holiday, especially by people who should know better and I have to say that the spiteful part of me hopes that they get a karmic head smack and don’t find what they are looking for at the other store.

-People who refuse my help and then loudly proclaim that they cannot find what they are looking for to their friends. This always seems to happen with groups of women. I know that the joke is that men won’t stop and ask for directions, but in bookstores I’m much more likely to get a man asking for my help (after he does at least one lap around the store) than a woman. Women in groups tend to completely ignore my question or just brush it off only to say to one of their friends a minute to later, “I don’t see Book X. This store obviously doesn’t have it. I don’t know why we bothered,” when I can still hear them. More often than not we do have the book and they just weren’t looking for it in the right place, or it was on display, etc, but instead of then asking for help they just go to leave aggravated that we “didn’t have what they were looking for.” What’s worse is that these people aren’t they “blue book” types, they know the title or the author or at least enough for us to guess.

-People who talk on their cell phones when I’m trying to ring them up. It’s just rude.

-People who work manage to get all the sales representatives on the floor to run around helping them in the hopes of finagling the best deal. I didn’t even know this happened until I experienced it first hand, and there are some people who are better at it than others (a.k.a. they don’t insult you at the end of the experience so you don’t go then talk to your coworkers only to find out that everyone worked with—and was insulted by—evil customer looking for Books X, Y and Z). The monopolization of my sales people isn’t really that bad because I understand that some people really are that disorganized that they don’t remember to ask all their questions to the same person (besides, these people are usually nice about it), but usually that isn’t how the game is played.

For example, I had a woman come in a month or three ago who I greeted at the door. She asked about our discounts for bestsellers and the like (which I told her) and wanted to know if I could find out about this little Yiddish book from ten years ago that just made the best gift. Since she didn’t know the name of the author, the title, or anything beyond it being Yiddish and small (and no, it was not Yiddish with Dick and Jane and she was insulted by that offering as an alternative), I told her that it was beyond my system’s capacity to find what she was looking for given so little information. She was beyond put out when she found out that I didn’t have the internet access to search the net for her book. She then moved through the store where she was approached by several other coworkers to see if she needed help. By the end, she had two coworkers searching for one copy of Confessions of a Beauty Editor (that the computer indicated that we may or may not have), and another researching what kind of discounts we give to nonprofits, business and teachers. When one of the searching coworkers came back to announce that Confessions was nowhere to be found she snarked, “Well I guess it’s obvious that people here don’t care what they look like then,” and then was insulted when the coworker who was looking into the discounts mentioned it was not for personal use nor could it be applied to the one magazine the woman had picked up and flipped through while we were all running around.

Wow, look at me with the bitterness and run-on sentences. Yikes. Most people aren’t bad customers, and if you are worried about being a bad customer then chances are you never will be one. As a bookseller I go days without running into bad customers and the ones I do have usually don’t bother me that much (unless there is yelling involved, I really hate getting yelled at).

Anonymous asked, “What, as an author, can I do to make the bookseller's job selling my book easier?” (S/he also suggested the downward facing dog position which has saved my life more than once. Yoga in the stock room on collapsed boxes is the norm during some points of the year.)

I’ve covered a lot of this at different points (marketing, approaching a bookseller, etc) which can be found under “Columns of Note” and the “Doing My Homework” sections in the sidebar. The biggest thing you can do as an author—if you can’t meet me personally—is lay out the selling points or your book when you send me your marketing material. Telling me that people who like Book A will also like your Book B or having some kind of quotable hook will make you stick in my head when I’m talking to customers. I know it costs a whole heck of a lot to contact every bookseller out there, and really, that’s what you need to do because most of the booksellers I know (who can sell a book real well) don’t go home and do tons of internet research on their chosen field of interest. You banding together with a bunch of other authors to create a nice glossy or news letter that is fast and informative and can be left on the lunch room table will get you a lot more attention than writing up a short marketing letter on your own (who don’t tend to share those unless they are awful).

Well, that took a lot longer than I thought it would (not to mention I’m sure it is full of mistakes), and now I have to go make with the last of the last of the shopping. Have a great day!

Anymore questions and comments welcome.

*Lady J, do you find it as amusing as I do that all the Bangles combined have a range of expression that only slightly exceeds a mannequin in that music video. Maybe they were trying to say that Mondays zombie-fi you.

Manic Monday Place-holder

Level of Awakeness: Meh? Where am I?

Level of caffinatedness: half a cup and counting.

Level of relevant book knowledge floating in head: Huh?

Realization that I need to be at work in forty-five minutes? Kicking my ass.

When you're looking for help to find a book this holiday season, may I recommend avoiding the bookseller who is standing there drooling. Moisture can be damaging for your purchase.

Here's hoping the coffee kicks in soon and that I'll be semi-coherent when I get home. Feel free to post any possible column topics you would like covered in the comments.

Off to chug straight from the coffee pot.

What have I done? (And the proper care and feeding of your book.)

I promised the big, little bro (he’s younger but 6’5”) that I will take him and his girlfriend barhopping tonight. The problem with this is a.) I have no cash, b.) I have to work tomorrow, and c.) I actually derive no pleasure from barhopping. I would take them dancing, but I can guarantee any place I want to go to he’ll hate (he’s more country, I’m…not). But basically I’m having third and fourth thoughts about this because his whole goal this evening appears to be getting his older sister trashed and hangovers and customer service don’t mix.

Here’s hoping mildly tipsy and home by one will work for him because I have to work tomorrow, and then make six dozen cookies for the cookie party/ornament war I’m attending on Sunday.

Oy.

But enough about me, let’s talk about you, specifically the books you may have bought for friends and family that aren’t in the most beautiful, pristine condition. Getting a book in perfect condition is pretty hard these days, they are moved from one box to another, sliding against each other and getting bashed around. Sometimes their box has a run in with a forklift or three. Sometimes they’ve been dropped by the customers or booksellers that handled it before you. All in all books take a lot of abuse, but there are some things you can do to spruce up that outer beauty.

Now everyone knows that you have to keep your books in a temperate, dry place to keep them from yellowing and curling (not to mention they should be stored away from windows), but did you realize you could use Windex to help remove cover scuffs? Just spray a little Windex on a soft towel and wipe the cover off in a circular motion. It will minimize a lot of the cover damage and remove any dirt build up (and since books are stored in warehouses there’s usually some dirt). I’ve heard you can do the same thing with pledge and other dust removal products as long as they advertise as not being too harsh on surfaces.

Bent corners and folds in dust jackets can be fixed by sandwiching the dust jacket between two cloths and using an iron on its lowest setting. The little bit of heat in combo with the pressure will take out the crinkles but you have to be careful.

Anyone else have any useful book care tips?

Other than don’t drop them, that is.

And if you haven't already, go check out the Written Nerd's Blog "New York Bookstores Need A Miracle." I agree with everything she has to say about frontline booksellers and why many people don't claim it as their life-pursuit.

Where Did The Time Go?

Ahh! I was all set to have a semi-leisurely morning. Got up, washed my dishes from last night, made some coffee and sat down to blog…when my mom called.

(She wants “that book on nonviolent dog training.”)

Okay, cool. Phone call over. Read some articles, look at the time and—What the? How is it eight already? I was gonna blog! Prove that the Christmas season and sucked me into a whirlpool of tinsel never to be heard from again!

I don’t know why I’m surprised. Time has been sorely lacking this week because the big-wigs are coming through and the store(s) (secondary business included) must look looooovely, dahling. Which is funny, because keeping any store looking pristine during Christmas requires a pact with the dark side and a whole battalion of elves.

(And while I’m willing to get down with my own evil I refuse to wear pointed ears and a fur trimmed hat. I have some dignity.)

So here’s the book word as far as I’ve been told:

When Richard Powers is interviewed, people listen…and like. The Echo Maker has become very popular.

The true Omnivore’s Dilemma is whether or not to buy one copy or two of the Pollan book for the foodies in their lives.

Roz Chast is the name on many a comic-lover’s lips, but I cannot get the book into the store because my supplier tells me they are out at the publisher. Is this true Bloomsbury? ‘Cause you’re killing me here because only some of my customers will take the Best American Comics 2006 as an alternative.

If you read, even a little bit, chances are you will get a Barak Obama book for Christmas from someone you know (at least if you live in my town).

There’s a whole lot more like this, but I have to make with the showering, dressing and makeup putting on-ing so that I won’t scare the world. So ta-tah for now. Just remember: if there is even one sticker left on a book from a previous sale, a customer will not only find it, but use it to haggle over the price of their purchase. Doesn’t matter if it is buried behind eight other books or up in overstock, it’s like they have a nose for these things. Somehow I forget this every year.

Please add any and all book news of note (to you and/or the rest of the world) in the comments if you feel the need. Share the insanity.

I read the news today, oh boy…

Mall hours have shifted once again, adding early openings to go with those late closings. Here are some things to think about while I’m gone:

This just in from PW and the Spier Ad firm:

“A new survey conducted by the advertising firm Spier New York found that 18% of readers have been to a publisher's Web site, while 23% of readers polled have visited an author's site. The survey, based on a sample of 813 readers, did not ask if readers bought a book from either site. Not surprisingly, the younger the reader, the more likely that person visited the Web. The survey found that 35% of readers under age 35 had visited an author's Web site and 21% of respondents in that age bracket had been to a publisher's site.

The Spier survey also found that 50% of those asked said they had purchased a book as a gift within the past year. Twenty-eight percent bought a book online as a gift online, while 89% said they bought a book at a retailer. "What these numbers show is that consumers continue to feel that books are one gift that has universal appeal," said Tom McCartin, president of Spier New York. According to the survey, 86% of those who purchased a book as a present bought at least two books.”

I would love to see this done with a larger group, but I think the findings are pretty accurate for most cases. All the more reason to target those who don’t get on the internet, and get them to buy your book.

The Book Biz Santa (MJ Rose) wants to know what you want in your publishing stocking this year. Best Dear BB Santa letter nets your favorite charity $100.

Via A Chair, A Fire Place and A Tea Cozy came this link to Anna Louise essay on when characters don’t have the necessary common knowledge. The essay focuses on TV shows, but could just as easily be applied to any kind of genre fiction. I run into this a lot with YA when characters don’t like the right music or TV shows and the author gives no reason for this.

The Man in Black asks why summer bestsellers list seem to be dominated by women and winter lists by men?

The NY Times announces the 10 best books of 2006. Agree, disagree or abstain from voting?

Booksquare and Molly Crabapple tell you how to have a slammin’ book release party. If, you know, you actually get one.

The SBs and Slate follow the newest twist in the McEwan/Andrews “Was it plagiarism or did he acknowledge enough” saga.

Brain Function No Higher Than US Weekly’s Comprehension Level

The company encourages us to check out books from the store so that we can better know our product. They give us a limit on the amount of books we can check out and the time we can have them in our possession, which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but Christmas always does an acid dance on our brains. As my boss was getting ready to leave yesterday she paused behind the counter with that vacant stare that we all get when faced with the daunting task of deciding which of the millions of books in the store to check out. After a few moments she sighed and shook her head, “I don’t think I can read anything beyond a magazine’s thickness anyhow.”

Most of us are in that state. The only coworkers who are devouring books are those who’ve been in school and are now celebrating their freedom from required reading with wanton disregard for all things high brow. Down with Melville and Hawthorne, bring on the YA, the romance, and the memoirs about heroin abuse!

I’m in a similar state to my boss, capable only of skimming a book before I either give up and declare it unreadable or just toss it aside for another day. I’m bored, picky and just plain irritable with authors that I usually love and books that I know are well written. I need a reading evening though, something to restart my internal Zen clock so that I can relax enough to sleep through the night. Tonight would be the perfect night to settle into a book, really give something a chance, but I promised to go check out some gallery exhibits with friends. It doesn’t bode well for that little trip that I’m thinking of bugging out at eight a.m., but it’s not like I know any of the artists we’ll be seeing personally.

Words or pictures? Words or pictures? Hmmm, will have to consider this throughout the work day.

As for y’all, Monica has provided a link (and a breakdown) of the WSJ article on race in fiction. There’s a great discussion going on over there that you should check out and add your two cents. Something to consider: would sectioning out “urban lit” (a title given to books that are written predominately by African-American authors and focused on street and gang life) as one might do with Women’s fiction or Horror add to the problem or not?

In connection to this, Marta emailed me a link to a talkback opportunity that PW Weekly article she wrote on the subject of being labeled in fiction at all.

And is there no bigger label than the label of “best”? Fuse #8 lists the lists of best children’s books of 2006. She also tells you where you can go to list your favorite blog crushes.

The Written Nerd adds her words to the Forbes Special Report on books.

POD-dy Mouth gives her take on the ongoing Sobol strangeness.

And that’s all the links that I could fit into this print before I ran out of time.

A sip or two to hold you over (or columns I’ve thought about but have yet to write)

So I thought I should make it clear that I don’t blog at work. At all. Ever.

I don’t have computer access, and I don’t have time. If I’m bored it’s not because I don’t have something to do, it’s that I just can’t seem to get up the energy to climb a ladder.

This is not a complaint, but an explanation. I wouldn’t blog at work even if I had the access. The only reason I would be tempted to log in at work at all would be to post book links. In fact, in the year and a half that I’ve had this blog, I’ve only ever walked my self over to the Apple store (the land o’ internet access) three or four times to check my emailed comments. The first two times because I was caught up in the flush of “Oh My Gaaawd! People are actually commenting” and the last two because I wanted to make sure no comment fights were going on while I was at work. Not that I could have done anything about them as Apple blocks blogger, but I could have composed my response.

Which is, perhaps, the only thing I do that is blog related at work: I run over topics and responses in my mind as I help people. It doesn’t affect my job too much because my ability to keep a train of thought going for longer than two or three minutes is shot to hell, which brings me to one of the first topics I would like to talk about at some point:

Don’t ever judge a bookstore by how they are at Christmas, it’ll earn you a beat down in the Children’s section.

Other topics I’ve considered and plan on writing about at some point:

1. Selling In The Gray: my own thoughts on the state of the chain store existence and new ideas on how Indies fit in. Areas of interest coved within said column will be: ordering systems, calling ahead, why authors (sadly) often have to present Photo ID, the futures of B. Daltons and Waldenbooks, the small store customer service vs. superstore selection, and anything else that comes up during this search. If I missed anything you want covered, let me know. Reasons why this isn’t up yet? The research monster owns my soul and I had a wee bit too much wine last night. (I refuse to drink and blog.)

Any current or former chain booksellers who want add their thoughts on this topic can email me at the address in the right hand column. I would greatly appreciate your perspectives.

2. The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Christmas Gift or How To Make That Book You Bought Aunt Marsha Look Spotless. This column would include special sidebar diatribes on why I hate, hate, haaaaate white covers on books and why parchment paper slip covers can go to the devil.

3. Focused Selling: Or Why You Should Make Airport Booksellers Your Best Friends. Think about it, how else are you going to get your book to go around the world in eighty days, go to areas it might not be represented in, be exposed to wildly different groups of people, and have a captive audience to sell to. Worship this people, they are your friends.

4. A discussion on this article (see below) highlighted in Shelf Awareness:

Notes: Black Fiction Sections; Iraq Study Group Report
In a cover story, today's Wall Street Journal looks at the ongoing dilemma about whether black writers benefit or not from having their books shelved in an African-American section, an issue given renewed attention because of the increased popularity of black fiction and the growth in spending on books by black readers. (Last year, blacks spent $300 million on books, twice as much as the early 1990s, according to Black Issues Book Review.)Some authors quoted in the story said that being in the black fiction section helped them connect with their most important audience. Others said they felt the practice limited their potential.One argument against black fiction sections: The story noted that "as a practical matter, segregating books by race and culture makes it less likely that black writers will hit the national bestseller lists."Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com are the major retailers that, with several exceptions, don't have African-American literature sections. B&N spokesperson Mary Ellen Keating told the paper that the company wants to expose "all titles to all customers."To give some perspective to the debate, consider the policy of one African-American bookstore. It shelves black fiction in its fiction section. "Caucasian" writers go in the ethnic fiction section.

(If someone could get me a copy of the actual Wall Street Journal article, I’d appreciate it. I don’t have a subscription, which (I believe) keeps me from logging onto the site. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

5. Some sort of riff on the ideas presented in this book, but involving only literary characters.

6. Cool stuff that I think you should buy friends and family for Christmas.

7. And so it will be part of the official list: Why You Should Never Judge A Bookstore By How It Is At Christmas.

So there you go, that’s what I’ve thought about at work (for the most part) over the last week or so. That’s what I’ve retained anyway; I’m really bad about writing any of this down so that it will stay with me longer than five seconds. I’m even worse about actually writing the columns when I get home (or get up the next morning) these days because my off-time is broken up into Christmas celebrations, family obligations, time with friends, community events and “reading to stay sane.” Hopefully this list of topics will help me get back on blogging schedule (and help breakup my current love affair with my snooze alarm), and I’ll gladly consider anything you wish to hear about as well.

So tell me, what (from the above list or from your own wonderings) do you want me to think about at work in the hopes that it will eventually make it onto the net?

The Word’s Out That We’re Evil (Again)

I agree with some points and disagree with others in this post by Holly Lisle called “How to Kill a Career in Three Easy Books.”

Thoughts?

(Chain bashing ones won’t hurt my feelings).

Well Hello There, Strangers

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Hope all is well with you. I would love to blame my absence on a turkey and wine induced coma, but that excuse only works through Black Friday. Nope, the reality is that I’ve just been running around doing the Christmas Retail thing so much that when I get home I’m a little brain dead, and I thought y’all deserved more than a post that consisted of “Book’s are purty.”

Um, yeah.

So, anywho, the Christmas Season is upon us and that means people shopping for books they don’t really want to pay for, books that don’t really represent the gift receiver, and felling guilty about buying books for themselves. My store has been inundated with heavy, expensive coffee table books and professional grade cook books. My sales have already been picked apart by customers looking for a way to scam more money off, and the battle cry of “What do you mean this isn’t in paperback, yet?” is heard often through the aisles. Oh, and the shoplifters have banded together to form packs that scavenge during the mall extended hours.

‘Tis the Season. Bah-Humbug.

The truth is, that I really do like Christmas. I love shopping for family and friends, wrapping presents, giving and receiving gifts and a house decorated with a tree. I love the white twinkle lights that the city puts up for the season and the distant sound of bell ringers. I just don’t love the retail half of it. The Boss—not so jokingly—always claims she must block out the Christmas from the year before because every time the season rolls around she’s shocked anew by something. I think exhaustion has a lot to do with that. Christmas shoppers, in our bookstore, can be really high maintenance.

Run here, climb that ladder there, grab this book from the back…Wait, that’s not fifty percent off? Well then, they’ll just take the one book, the easy to get book that was also the cheapest.

Or maybe they’ll still take all of them, but they really need them wrapped individually.

I have customers that are appalled just appalled at our small selection of coffee table books. Why they’re willing to drop fifty to seventy bucks on a book that may very well sit around gathering dust, when they could find something the giftee might actually read, I don’t know. And what if you gave the same person a coffee table book every year? Would they eventually build a coffee table out of the books, eschewing the actual thing? (Look, Martha, they’re table is made out of actual books? Can you believe it? I think if you look closely you can see the spine of that Paris pictorial we gave them five years ago.)

Or would they get rid of the old ones? Where do old coffee table books go to die, anyway?

Maybe they’re recycled to make tables for Starbucks.

Now I know there are people out there who collect coffee table books, just like there are people who collect cook books and other things that you might not use that often. And who am I to judge, seeing as I have a house full of fiction and nonfiction (not all of which I will reread). It’s just that I hate seeing a book matched to the wrong person, and I really hate when I get that book as a return after Christmas.

Oh boy, do a lot of books get returned after Christmas. But really, what do you expect when I’ve got business men coming in and buying twenty to thirty copies of the newest Albom or Crichton for all of their business associates and family members?

And can they have those wrapped, please?

There are high points through: watching little kids pick out what they consider to be the perfect gifts for their families, hearing that squeal that means someone has finally found the book they’ve been looking for, and the general air of excitement that people have when they find out the book they’ve been waiting for is here. Those moments are wonderful, and they really do make up for the repetitive Christmas Carols, the snarky women with their personal maids, and the people who want to haggle over the price.

Now if I can only remember to focus on that I might make it until Christmas day.

Of course, if I have another guy tell me that Star Wars book he is holding contains the sign of the devil ‘cause the blue marble he is holding divined it to be so, then all bets are off.