Thursday, March 22, 2007

The What's This...In My Pants edition

So not too long ago, I ripped a hole in my pants. A big one as you can from the picture below. It started out small, a little tearing sound, a little fabric parting along the side of the pocket (the horizontal rip in this picture). Then I sat down and it ripped a little more.

"Well, this sucks," I thought, seeing as how I was in the middle of Elephant's deli about to eat a sandwich. "But at least I'm wearing a long coat."

A discreet bum check assured me that the hole was not so big that I could not finish eating and do my errands before returning home where I would patch the tear and call it good. No big deal.

Then I stood up, and the pants ripped some more.

Still no big, right? I just needed to buy some more patches.

And then I stepped off the curb and the pants ripped all the way to the base of the pocket. Hell.
What you can't tell from the above picture is that those pants have a thirty-six inch inseam. They're long. The pockets are long. The rip is almost six inches, and the fabric was so weak it didn't seem worth the bother to try and repair them.

So what do you do with a pair of ripped pants? Turn them into an ode to Maureen Johnson and the Green brother's "in your pants" game, of course.


Thar be an Abundance of Katherines in my pants.

Whatever shall I tell my parents about this life-style choice?


Chris said...

So weird, I dreamt last night I spent the whole day with a big rip in my pants. I went everywhere with my undies hanging out. One of those naked in public dreams, I guess.

At least you knew about the rip and could hide it.

Katherines in my pants...LOL!

Little Willow said...

Hilarious. Whether or not you tell your folks, make sure to tell the Brotherhood Greens!

Anonymous said...

Bluejeans are supposed to be durable. Levis were invented to last. I bought a pair of wheat (beige) Lees when I was 12 years old and in the 7th grade. I am now 60 years old (and well out of the 7th grade, although I can still diagram sentences, which is what I learned to do that year). That same pair of Lees still look good and fit well. I wear them whenever I am thin enough to do so. Jeans should be inexpensive and made of heavy denim. I would no more pay more than $20 for a pair, or buy a pair with cuts and slashes, than I would pour gasoline on my hair and set it on fire (and I'm not into pain). Jeans should last as long as you do and always be in style. If you were wearing a coat, how did you catch them on something and tear them in the first place? Makes no sense. You need to be more careful. Both my parents used to whip me for tearing my clothes. I learned not to do it. My mother used to say, "The things you learn through pain, you seldom need to learn again." (Pain and again rhyme if you are from the south.) That quote is from a Thronton Burgess book called THE ADVENTURES OF REDDY RED FOX, circa 1949. I probably still have my copy. You may need it worse that I do. I'll see if I can find it and let you know. Have a good time visiting your friend and best wishes on finding a new, and hopefully better, job and pair of jeans. Or, you might consider learning to sew durable bluejeans and marketing them over the net. Call them "True Blue" by BS Chick. Sonds like a good idea to me.

Shanna Swendson said...

Those aren't, by chance, Old Navy jeans, are they? Because I had three pairs rip exactly like that, after only about six months of wear. Then I quit buying them because after three pairs doing the exact same thing, I knew it wasn't a fluke, it was a design flaw. It was a pity because they fit me better than any other jeans, but they all did that thing where they started a tiny hole near the back pocket, and soon there was no "back" to the jeans.