Surprise! Stephen King Has a New Post-Apocalyptic Book Out…

No, really. Surprised?

No, not about it being post-apocalyptic. This is Stephen King so that was kind of duh.

I’m talking about the fact that he has an actual book out. I have to admit that when I first heard about it, I asked, “Didn’t he retire?” but I said the same thing when the Colorado Kid came out and that book with Stewart O’Nan. Maybe those didn’t count because they were different then say, The Stand. You know, the one about a post-apocalyptic world where good and evil square off and people search for a common ground with those who are left.

Not to be confused with this post-apocalyptic book, which is called The Cell and totally different.

I kid, I kid. Not about them being different—they are—but about needling King. I like the guy. I like his monthly columns in Entertainment Weekly. I like his legions of fans who spend their money at my bookstore so they can have the Dark Tower Series in all the same size because they MUST BE THE SAME SIZE ON THE BOOKSHELF, DAMN IT, OR IT DOESN’T LOOK RIGHT.

Gee, you think I hear that often?

The same size, by the way, is most often trade (the size in which they bought the first four Dark Tower books), but they also have to own them in hardback because they just can’t wait for the books to transition to trade...which means more money for me.

I love, love King’s fans—I’m such a book whore—and I love their enthusiasm, but I’ve never seen a more surprised group of people when I put this new novel out today.

Why?

Because they hadn’t heard about it.

Seriously, where was the advertising on this? I went to King’s website and there’s a nice blurb telling about how Scribner, Amazon.com, and Entertainment Weekly are doing these amazing promotions, and all I could think was, “Really? Where?”

Sure enough, there’s a cool clip you can watch on Amazon (it’s on the opening page and on the book page) where Bill Maher interviews King, but I don’t remember seeing it yesterday when I was browsing the book selection.

And there’s an excerpt of the book on EW Online, and in the magazine (apparently the first time they’ve ever included a fiction excerpt, which seems appropriate given that King’s a living sponge for pop culture) this last week, but you’d only know that if you picked up EW regularly.

Oh, and the Scribner stuff? Well, I haven’t seen it and neither have the other managers in my company. Our District Manager had to make us signage (lovingly photoshopped) to try to drum up reservations. There were no posters, or flyers, or even bookmarks (and y’all know how I feel about bookmarks, but in this case I would have taken them).

I mean it’s not like I’m asking for an Advanced Reader Copy here, people, just a little help from the Publishing Powers that Be at Scribners to help with the drumming up of sales.

‘Cause today? I sold two copies of King’s new book.

That’s right: two.

Wanna know how many copies of J.D. Robb’s newest book I’d sold by the end of my eight hour shift?

Eight and that was just me. Other people were ringing customers too.

This is not because I have more Robb than King readers. Oh no, this is because people knew about the Robb book. There had been advertising, a media campaign, a freakin’ sign up in my store telling customers the arrival date. Anticipation was built months in advance.

I didn’t have a whole group of her readers standing around going, “Wait a minute, J.D. Robb has a new book out? Why didn’t I hear about this?”

In the case of King’s book, I must ask, “Why indeed?”

Customers, as I’ve said before, need reassurance. They need to be told, “This is a great book and everyone is going to be buying it because it’s everywhere, Man!”

When they don’t hear anything they get skittish. They hesitate.

They don’t buy.

Again and again today I watched it happen. They came in, saw King’s name, picked up the book and frowned. Then they put it back. Some came to the counter and asked me if I’d heard anything about it.

“PW seemed to like it,” I would respond—I didn’t yet know about the Amazon interview or the Entertainment Weekly excerpt (my copies for the week never got delivered).

“Oh,” they would say, biting their lip, or frowning, or fill in your sign of distress here. “I’ll have to think about it then.”

Very few came back with the book to buy. So for King—in my store—it was a very slow first day.

I’m not claiming my store is typical and this is happening everywhere—maybe my state was left off the advertising map (though who knows why because they LOVE King around here)—but from what I’ve heard from my other managers, the customers seem to be confused.

“There’s a new King novel out? Why haven’t I heard about this?”

I just don’t know.

Maybe the publishing house thought the branding of a “Stephen King” book would sell itself, no help needed.

Maybe they just wanted to have more publicity focused around the actual release date?

Maybe Jupiter aligned with Mars and there really has been an apocalyptic event caused by cell phones that affected the publicity and I just don’t know it because I hate my cell phone with an everlovin’ passion.

Who knows? But what the hell am I going to tell my customers when they do what I did and ask, “A new book? Why didn’t I hear about this? Didn’t he retire?”

Somehow I think, “Don’t ask me, kids. I’m just here to take your money,” won’t cut it, and they might look at me a little funny if I blame the apocalypse.

Thoughts?