A Mystery To Me

We’ve been kicking around the idea of putting together a book pamphlet that we could drop off with the language arts teachers at a few local middle schools and high schools. The pamphlet would mimic our book club one with titles and blurbs for new, exciting releases (as well as long-selling backlist), manga we carry (I know where my bread is buttered) and a place to write in books required for classroom reading. I’m thinking that anything required for the classroom would qualify for a discount, payment could be given in check or credit card, and the books would be packaged and delivered to the classroom once they arrive.

I have no idea about the legalities of this, whether or not teachers would appreciate the effort, or that the students would actually show any interest, but it’s something I can work on when I put in shifts up at the calendar store. If nothing else it will let me use my knowledge of InDesign.

This pamphlet, and my memories of the Scholastic Book Club papers all those years ago, got me thinking about author promotion and reaching the bookseller half of the market. J.A. Konrath (whom I’ve never met, for those who keep on asking, and who has never come to my store as he had to cancel the West Coast leg of his tour) has a post up called The Great Bookstore Experiment where he asks for help figuring out the Mystery market, specifically whether or not anyone is buying Mysteries anymore. He talks about how chain stores carry only about 250 Mystery authors at any time, and how he never really saw anyone browsing in section.

I haven’t had a chance to comment over there (though intend to), but I thought he brought up some interesting points. In my opinion, Mystery appeals to a wide audience, but there is very little cross over within its sub-genres. The ladies reading Cozies aren’t like to pick up something Hard-boiled and vice versa. That said, I think Mystery as a genre does better in urban markets, especially in stores that are near courthouses. I think that combining straight Mystery sections with Suspense/Thriller, helps to draw in readers who might not realize that they would like a straight Mystery.

So what does this have to do with thoughts on the Scholastic Book Club? Simple, as a chain store bookseller, I don’t have a lot of opportunities to learn about the new and interesting Mysteries out there unless my company chooses to highlight them.

But shouldn’t I, as a bookseller, be seeking out these titles? Sure, but not every bookseller is going to come home and spend time on their computers surfing review sites and chatrooms when they are not getting paid, especially when they are not getting much more than minimum wage when they are at their jobs. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about their jobs or their customers; it just means they want to have a life when they aren’t on company time.

Can’t say that I blame them.

But what about when authors send out their flyers and publicity information? Doesn’t that reach the bookseller? Yes and no. Say you send me a flyer about your wonderful book. Maybe it is something you printed up on the home printer, maybe it is something you had done professionally, but chances are it is just your information—one writer, several books—and when I’m done reading it, I’ll probably toss it.

Which means the information you just labored so hard over got read by one person, me, and then tossed in the trash can because why would I want dozens of pieces of paper floating around my backroom?

Magazines and publisher catalogues, on the other hand, often get thrown on the lunch table for everyone to check out. We keep PW up at the counter so people can go through and order when they get bored.

So let’s say, that instead of everyone from the Killer Year (to use them as an example) sending out separate press packets, they got together and put together a pamphlet, an adult version of the Scholastic Book Club newspaper/magazine. Glossy or not, within the pages (color please, and yes, I know that’s a bitch to pay for) are the books with their back copy and maybe an article or two on Mysteries appealing to some such market or another. It doesn’t have to be big, ten pages or less would be fine, but it does have to look professional. And when it’s finished? Mail it out to all the bookstores and libraries possible.

At some stores it might still get thrown away, but at others it might end up on the lunch table for booksellers to read through and educate themselves. It may stick in their heads as they help a customer find another mystery they might like. It may make other booksellers or librarians go to the computer and order.

Maybe it’s been done to death (and somehow missed me), or maybe it won’t work at all, but it would be interesting to try. And it just might interest some bookseller enough to face out a book or two.

Thoughts?

SB Day: The Guy Edition (Part Two)

(This is continued from SB Day: The Guy Edition (Part One), and will only make sense in order.)

It’s A Boy Thing

My mother, having gotten rather retrospective in the last few months, blames herself for my brother’s lack of reading love. She feels she may have shorted him by trying so hard to be the perfect wife and mother. When there was just me, there was time to sluff off the cooking and cleaning in favor of making mud pies and reading books, but with two children (one of whom already had a set schedule) and the doubling of her workload she feels he didn’t get the same one on one attention I did. “Of course, he had you,” she’s always quick to point out, but we both know that he wasn’t the object of my sole attention either. Very few things, other than My Little Ponies, are to a four year old, and there is no reason he should have been. So while at age three I’d memorized entire books because they’d been repeated to me over and over again, my brother (at the same age) was entertaining himself with cars and army men.

My parents did not set out to short change my brother, nor do I think they did. Had his schooling been the same level that I experienced, had he had someone to come in and read with him daily in the classroom, then whether or not he’d memorized Cinderella at age three would be a non-issue. This wasn’t the case, and hasn’t been for most kids in public school. With classroom sizes getting larger, volunteer programs getting cut back, and a general dumbing down of education, kids like my brother fall through the cracks every day. And I fully believe more of them are male than female.

Again and again the gender bias of women as readers and men as doers is reinforced despite the fact that generations before this one produced male readers a plenty. If a boy consistently chooses anything (sports, outdoors, video games) over reading its simply considered a masculine trait. Boys who choose reading over these things are considered peculiar, while a girl who would rather read then play soccer won’t find much resistance. It’s a double standard that I’m aware that even I perpetuate. As much as it pisses me off to hear a mother or father say there son is not a reader because “he’s a boy,” I find myself worrying that the little boy who loves books to the point of fanaticism. Does he get outside enough? Does he have other interests besides reading to talk about with his friends?

And the most insidious thought of all, “Does he not have friends to play with?”

How could I, a semi well-rounded person and acknowledged bibliophile, even think that? I know it is quite possible to be a reader and have a fulfilling social life. I know that wanting to talk about books with your friends and being unable to is a sign of education failing those other kids, not a detriment to the boy who loves to read. I know all of this, and yet the thought is there because over and over again the image we’re presented of the bookish male is one of a skinny, pale fellow who is not in touch with the real world. A similar stereotype can (and is) applied to female readers, but in a more joking and accepted manner. Rarely does a friend or relative follow up your, “Oh, my daughter, she always has her head stuck in a book,” with a, “Why? Doesn’t she have any friends?”

Please Read the Parental Advisory Label

Boys, like my brother, see reading as work, not escape, because they are never taught to enjoyment. With an education system that will only pay attention to them if they act out or are at the top of their class, they skate along by learning just as much as they have to, or are able to without help. The disconnect grows with parents who aren’t aware of where their kids really are education-wise (or mistakenly believe they are receiving the same education as those who came before), and don’t have time to provide the one on one attention that their children need.

There isn’t time to read to them when you have to get dinner ready, so why shouldn’t they play that video game.

It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t like to read, he is a boy, and there are so many distractions these days.

The excuses are many and varied and perpetuated time and again by parents and teachers who don’t realize what they are doing. They don’t have time to instill the love of reading, and therefore pass the buck in believing that someone else is taking up the job. The overworked parents believe the teachers are doing it, and the overworked teachers think the parents aren’t doing their job. In the end, the gender bias when it comes to male readers sets in, and everyone walks away believing that little Joey or Simon just wasn’t cut out to be a reader anyway, but gee, he sure likes baseball or basketball where he gets one on one attention from not only his coach, but also his teammates. It’s not like reading is a team sport, anyway.

Slightly Off-Topic, But Since I’m Ranting Anyway

In her comments on Part One of this essay, Robin said, “I also think there are simply more books aimed at girls than at boys.” This is something I would agree with, but for this simple problem. Teachers, in attempt to lure those reluctant boy readers, often seem to choose books with male protagonists to be read in the classrooms. Time and again, I’ve worked with a teacher to pick out books for her classroom, only to have her say, “Oh, we can’t read that. My boys won’t identify with a female protagonist.”

It’s never a question whether or not the girls will identify with a strong, male protagonist. No one has ever wondered aloud within my hearing whether or not the girls will be left out because we’re reading a “boy” book. It’s simply accepted that the girls are already readers and that they don’t differentiate either way. The girls buy their “girl” books on the off time, or seek them out at the library. When they grow up, these girls will be just as likely to pick up a “boy” book as they will a “girl” book, while the boys who occasionally read might find a “girl” book too feminine as if that were a bad thing. Maybe these very same boys would have benefited in reading about a strong female character that they could respect and admire. Maybe they, as Joss Whedon talks about in his Equality Now speech, these very same boys could have identified something in that female character within themselves, that in a male character would have been skipped over or considered “girlish.”

Boy Meets Girl. Boy And Girl Read A Book.

Do we need more books like Harry Potter that celebrates strong male and female characters as well as cooperation and learning to be read in the classroom? Hell to the yes.

Do we need an education system that shores up these cracks that children fall through, funds smaller classrooms and has more volunteers on staff? Yes.

Are we going to get these things? Probably not anytime soon, and this places even more pressure on the two parents trying to work two or more jobs to achieve the American dream.

Are there always going to be some people who would rather do something other than spend their time reading? Yes, some people are just wired differently, but there is no excuse why they shouldn’t understand why reading can be enjoyable or why they should go through their entire lives without being touched by a book.

Reading is a tool, a pleasure, an escape and a teacher. Reading teaches about the past even as it lets us imagine the future. Everyone, boy or girl, should have the opportunity to experience this. Creating a reader could be as easy as reading to your child at night, putting on an audio book in the car instead of letting them play with their hand-helds, or inviting writers into your classroom to talk (and read) to your students. Reading is everywhere, and a necessary fact of life, so why shouldn’t also be viewed as a necessary escape from life. Blaming the rise of electronics for falling readership is too easy and blaming overwhelmed teachers too simplistic, we all need to accept that we play a role in that little boy not reading, even if it just by letting someone get away with the “he’s a boy” excuse.

If he likes books about snakes and slugs, then get him books about snakes and slugs; they’re out there. If he likes the movie version of Hoot or Holes, not only get him those books, but offer him options that are similar. If changing the freaking advertisement world to better represent male shoppers a la the Business Week article is necessary, then bring it on.

Support him as a reader; don’t let him fall through the cracks. Because there is nothing worse, as bookseller, hearing anyone from a little boy to a full-grown man in a suit say, “I don’t enjoy reading, it’s boring.” Especially when you know it only takes one book to spark their interest.

You just have to get them to pick it up.

SB Day: The Guy Edition (Part One)

On this Smart Bitches Day I think we should give some thought to men. Male readers that is. AOL has an article up from Business Week Online about the secrets of the male shopper, apparently advertisers have been missing up to one half of the male buying public in their campaign to get us to all spend, spend, spend! Whether new selling tactics can be applied to draw in this other half of male shoppers and turn in them into readers, I don’t know. The politics and gender biases (when it comes to male readers) start so young that I’m not sure a simple change in advertising would make a difference.

At Least He’s Reading

Over and over again in my years of bookselling, I’ve heard the same refrain from mothers about their sons: “At least he’s reading.”

I hear it when they hand over ten dollars for the latest Naruto manga or car magazine. I hear it even as they make a face at the Star Wars tie in or any book that does not have the award of approval glittering on its surface. Even as they praise the child for trying, they denigrate his reading choices. The subtext is clear, “Thank God he’s reading, but does he have to be reading that?”

First of all, there is no “at least” about it. Reading, even if it advertisements on a cereal box or the articles in Playboy, is reading. You are actively engaged in comprehending the meaning of words and how they affect the meaning of a sentence. You are absorbing sentence structure and word choice and you might even be learning a thing or two.

Yes, some writing might be less complex than others, but complex does not necessarily mean better. The Da Vinci Code might not have been top rate literature, but it managed to get a lot of people—specifically in this instance male people—to enjoy a book where previous they found reading for pleasure an oxymoron. For some of these people the Da Vinci Code acted like a gateway drug to other books, ones with more complex structures or mysteries. Suddenly these guys who before might have simply played a video game or watched television found they could enjoy the written word and discovered that it could be just as exciting as a visual stimulus.

But why did they lose this ability in the first place?

He’s Just Not a Reader

Time and again this scenario plays out the same: a mother enters the store with her two children, a boy and a girl. The girl heads to one fiction section or another with the mom, while the boy loiters around the video game magazines. Mom and daughter will eventually wander back up to the counter with a stack of books, complaining that they would have found more, but the boy has expressed his boredom and wants to leave. Why is he bored?

“Well, he’s just not a reader.”

Why not? Is this just a male thing? Surely not. Every day half of my customers are business men buying business books, fiction, or Scifi; men in their forties or older who enjoy the written word and what it can teach them. I have men in their sixties and seventies stopping in to buy books while their wives shop, so they have something to do while sitting on the bench out in the mall. My own father, while not much of a fiction reader, sits down with the newspaper every day and has been known to be irrational fond of fact books (like the Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader series).

Maybe it’s a generational thing. My brother dislikes reading except for the occasional magazine (or Bathroom Reader, it’s an addiction—this thirst for trivial facts). To my knowledge, his only voluntary book reading has been with the Harry Potter series, and even then he stopped at book five and has shown no interest in continuing. Part of this may stem from the fact that he learned to read late. In third grade we learned he was reading at barely a first grade level and that his teachers didn’t notice because he wasn’t a problem child. This could have been my fate as well had I not had so much one on one reading time as a child: being the first born I benefited from my mother’s full attention, I went to a co-op kindergarten that was heavily reading based, and I had an excellent volunteer in my grade school who spent time reading with individual children each day. Basically I was given the best of that reading and reading comprehension teaching had to offer.

My brother didn’t experience any of this, and when his reading problem was discovered everyone blamed it on development issues instead of falling through the educational cracks. He had hand/eye tracking problems (something my mother realized was bull shit when she looked at how well he preformed with video games and sports) we were told. He just needs tutoring that needs to be paid for out of pocket and on his own time. Reading became something he had to work out, something he was told he was not good at.

Reading became the enemy because it was hard and it was work. Reading for enjoyment did not exist for my bro, it was something he had to do so that he could later play video games or go outside and play. The concept of choosing a book over Mario or taking one along with him into the fields did not occur to him, even though this was something that he saw my mother and I do constantly. Obviously he observed that we got enjoyment out of the process, but he that didn’t mean he wanted to give it a try.

Why?


The rant continued in SB Day: The Guy Edition (Part Two).

Il Postino

As I was training a new coworker yesterday, I suddenly realized how many regulars my store has. It felt like I was turning to him after ringing every other sale and saying, “S/he comes in here a lot and they like (fill in the blank genre).”

I may not be able to remember if they have the company card, but I know what the like to read. It’s this knowledge that the Boss and I use to try in order in books that will appeal to specific customers as well as the masses in general. One of the customers we go out of our way to find books for is The Postman.

I don’t know if he was actually a postman. The subject only came up once when I was complaining that my overflow UPS guy said that we’d be getting a bunch of boxes in that day with our regular delivery. “Don’t ever trust a postman,” my customer told me. “I was a postman. We lie.”

Of course he said this with a smile, and given that he likes to tell outrageous stories (he once came into the store after reading The Monsters: Mary Shelley and the Curse of Frankenstein that he heard on the news that all of my company’s employees were going to be locked in their respective stores until they could produce a story to win their freedom) he could have just been feeding me a line.

His former occupation (whatever it might be) aside, The Postman loves to read and his been known to pick up two to three hardbacks a week. His tastes tend to run from the historical (he just finished a biography of Beau Brummel) to the ribald (he’s a big fan of Trainspotting), but he’s always a joy to shop for. Here are a few of his latest reads:

Intoxicating: A Novel of Money, Madness, and the Invention of the World's Favorite Soft Drink by John Barlow

PW felt it was missing that special sparkle, while the Washington Post thought it was a story with zing. According to The Postman, you can call it Soda, you can call it Pop, or even hybrid the two to Soda Pop, but how can you resist a story with a “flamboyant, hunchback midget” and a temperance business man who create liquid gold?

You can’t.

A Pickpocket’s Tale: The Underworld of Nineteenth-Century New York by Timothy J. Gilfoyle

Everyone can pretty much agree that if you are interested in a colorful history of Old New York (and Kate, weren’t you the one looking for recommendations like that?), this is the book for you. Tales of immigrants, con artists, professional tricksters and the squalor of the Nineteenth century appeals to The Postman, and he felt it needed to go up on our wall in a place of prominence. We agreed.

That’s all I have time for today—I must get ready for work—but I hope these appeal, otherwise The Postman might threaten to lock you in my store.

It’s Not You, It’s Me…Maybe

Due to the comment and hit explosion that happened yesterday thanks to the linkage from Smart Bitches (which would have solidified my love for those women even if Candy hadn’t invoked the great and holy Sir Mix-a-lot with her entry), I got a lot of reassurance that I am not alone in my abusive authorial love and a lot of authors got beat down on. While the former was great, the latter aspect was semi-unintentional despite what my further commentary on Reader Loyalty may indicate. You see, Marta had a point when she said:

I think there's another way to look at this. Some writers have only one or a few terrific books in them. Harper Lee and John Kennedy Toole are examples. Do we think less of them because they only wrote one great book? Nope, we are grateful for that one novel. Other writers only have four or five or part of a series in them.Heck, that's an amazing accomplishment. To say that their newer writing is "irredeemable" is a harsh assessment.

Now, the Sophomore Blues/Slump explanation has been popping up recently in many different news venues in conjunction with the question of whether or not we would have wished for these authors to write more even if it couldn’t match their premiere works. As many of you have mentioned (both here and on the Smart Bitches thread), you would rather wait or have fond memories of an author rather than to read work that you consider “phoned in” (unless you are Raine, who needs someone to hook her up with a medium so she can get Nathaniel Hawthorne to cough up a few more stories, or someone who can fake his style well enough that we have something to base next year’s literary scandal on. Long lost Hawthorne works, anyone?). Still, despite this “phoning in” aspect, many of you continue to buy, follow a series in paperback, or at least linger over the newest title by an old favorite. In my own store I’ve had many a customer practically yelling their frustrations at a novel one minute (because it is completely acceptable to talk to a book like it’s a person), only to plunk down thirty bucks for it the next. Because they paid the money, they feel it is perfectly fine to complain that the book has let them down.

But what about when you, as the reader, have changed? In her comment, Marta also says:

The writer/reader relationship is two-way. Not only does the writer progress, but the reader goes through things that change our perception of a novel. I read Bridehead Revisited when I was young and read it again more recently. It was a different book to me (though still marvelous).

Our personalities are an amalgam of different experiences and backgrounds, and no two people are going to approach a book the same. There will be books that we read and enjoy because of this, and others we will hate simply because of a certain plot aspect that we don’t agree with. We can’t expect that our favorite author should mirror us in our growth, nor that a book will look or feel the same way after several years of distance. To further complicate the matter, our emotions when we read the book the first time might be heightened due to a traumatic event or stress, adding another aspect to the reading experience. It’s like having the munchies due to smoking pot; everything you eat under the influence is just the BEST. THING. EVER, but when you revisit the same flavors while drug-free they taste and feel completely different. Does this mean that they are worse? No, simply that the change in the environment and in your emotions cannot create the same affect.

(Not that I would know anything about drugs. Nope. I’m pure, mama, I swear.)

This divergent growth from your author love does not necessarily explain the Disappointed Potential Redux (DPR) that I explained yesterday. DPR is most common in series that strike the reader as having gone on too long, or entered into the realm of repetition, something Wry Hag at Smart Bitches blamed the editors and publishers for:

BLAME THE PUBLISHERS. BLAME THE EDITORS. They’re the ones who keep
the same old same-old assembly line running. They’re the ones who, once an author becomes a cash cow, refuse to say, “Listen up, Steve. You’re beginning to plagiarize from yourself. That means you’re pushing my yawn button. Plus, this fucker is so rambling and discursive it makes Gulliver look provincial. Shave off two-thirds of that rancid fat, and we might just have us a digestible hunk of meat here.

Again, it’s an opinion shared by many a reader at my store and one that from the readers end is hard to argue against. But as an editor of a series, you have to figure in some ways they are held captive. It is the author who has the overarching themes and plot planned out in their heads and it is the author who knows (supposedly) each step along the way. If that author says that the repetition is necessary then who is the editor to argue. This might be a simplification of the situation or way off base, I don’t know. I just tend to steer clear of most series because I’ve been disappointed so much in the past. Anything that extends beyond four books usually doesn’t even get picked up.

Unfortunately this means that I miss out on a lot of great books, and I know that. Just like I might miss out on some great titles because an author to me is hit or miss and I’m tired of looking for the hits. With so many books out there to choose from, a reader can afford to drop one author for another, meanwhile an author can forever lose a reader with one “bad” book. Whether book is considered bad by all, or just that reader who’s moved on is (I would like to believe) a measure of the writing and the caliber of the story…or whether or not drugs were involved in any way.

Reader Loyalty

As many of you admitted yesterday on “Use Me, Abuse Me” we all have authors we just keep going back to despite our disappointment. This has led me to try to figure out why, only realize the answer is part of a much larger question, “What creates a loyal reader?”

Let’s face it, every one of our favorite authors probably has a book we like slightly less than the rest. Sometimes this is because it truly is a weaker book, while other times it may be due to changes in writing style, a different editor, a rushed deadline or some other factor. More often than not, this is the book we don’t reread, it’s the one we give away to our friends or trade in at the used bookshop, but it doesn’t stop us from buying the next novel (though it might make us hesitate).

The novel may not be weaker at all, but a departure from the author’s established genre to one where many fans don’t wish to follow. I can’t count the number of times that an author has switched genres and I, as a bookseller, hear about it. Often reader loyalty will bring them to pick up this new book, only to be disappointed by the radical changes the author has made to fit his/her plotline into this new arena.

Is our ability to forgive based on the strength of an author’s backlist? Are we more likely to forgive an author that slumps on the fourth book than on his/her sophomore effort? Will the placement of the slump dictate whether this author is still bought in hardback, paperback, or checked out from the library? And what makes us go back at all, why not quit cold turkey?

Going cold turkey would mean (to me at least) we thought the author was irredeemable. If my abusive author/reader relationship of choice could be proved irredeemable, I would walk away and never look back, but much like cigarettes there are defined addicted qualities that reel me back in:

• The books represent a calming influence during a point of upheaval: We all have books that we read when we are stressed out or feeling depressed that offer the escape we need. It is only later, when our emotions have settled and we try to reread them that we realize these books are not the GREATEST. THING. EVER, but do, in fact, suck donkey balls. Bring back that stress, however, and you’ll go crawling back to that author faster than you can book a therapy session.

• The book represents disappointed potential: Once upon a time I “volunteered” to be a teacher’s assistant for a class of college freshmen and reading their first essays had to be one of the most painful experiences of my life. This was not because they were all bad (although some had me wondering if maybe mom or dad had written their kid’s entrance essay), but because no one seemed to know how to trim the fat. Underneath the layers of repetition and hanging threads were some great ideas just waiting to bust free, but it took a lot of slash and burn editing to get to them. This potential is the same thing I recognize in the authors I keep going back to, whether it is in the plot, characterizations, writing style or all of the above. It’s why I keep picking up the next book with the hope that it will be better, that an editor or the writer will have gotten ruthless, taken a page from Carver (just a page, not a whole book which can be a bitch to handle at times), and did a little showing instead of telling.

• Disappointed Potential Redux or “the first few books were great and then…:” You’re following a series and it is great, wonderful, stu-fucking-pendous. You can’t wait to tell your family, friends, neighbors and book group about it. Then the fourth or fifth book comes out and that worshipful love starts to dim. The plot has started to repeat itself, characters are acting differently without precedent, villains are brought back from the dead for no apparent reason, and there is no end in sight. But you love this series and you’ve been following it for years. You have to know how it ends because each story has advanced the overarching plot. Besides, s/he has to finish the books soon, right?

I’m sure there are many more reasons we go back, or different nuances to the ones I’ve posted above. And we all have our own limitations, the point where we say enough is enough and never look back. Still, I have to wonder what influences that decision and how much we are willing to forgive and forget. If you knew that an author was going through a hard time in their personal life would you be happy that even managed to put out a book (despite the fact that it wasn’t up to previous standards) or would you wish they had waited? Would you have stayed loyal during that wait or moved on and forgotten the author’s name?

The questions are endless, but I would love to read your thoughts on those already posed, as well as any you come up with.

SB Day: Use Me, Abuse Me

It’s Smart Bitches Day, and once again I feel compelled to talk about the abusive author/reader relationship. This relationship can occur in many ways: an author you previously loved changes their writing style or genre and you follow in the hopes that they’ll get over this stage and come back to you; an author you love keeps writing a series to the point of repetition and you realize that s/he will die before they finish (this is known as the Robert Jordan Syndrome); or you find an author who you fundamentally disagree with in several stylistic and character building areas but their plots (or plot ideas) are so compelling that you just keep going back because it’s got to get better, right? They’ll change.

He says he loves me.

And it is not until your friends are hustling you out of your home so that they can perform a ritualistic cleansing and book removal while you’re restricted to an Austen-only diet, that you realize that you’ve wasted the best years of your life on this person only to be left with a shelf full of re-released paperbacks and hard covers that you’re ashamed to tell anyone about.

“Why? Why did it take me so long to break free?” you’ll cry to your friends who will pat your on your back or tell you to buck up—we’re talking about books here, sheesh. They’ll give you a list of books that are supposed to expand your mind and your education (So that’s the difference between the Booker and the White Bread!) and you’ll take up knitting to keep your hands busy. Slowly you’ll expand your reading to recommendations given by the librarian, bookseller, and the girl who runs the espresso machine at your local coffee shop and then to clicking on the also bought links at Amazon.

You’re strong, you’re healthy, and you’re committed to never going back again. Not that you’ll ever be dragged back in! Because—hah!—you’ll never be that weak. It was all a phase. Those days are behind you.

And then one day, while playing around on the net or listening in on a conversation at the bookstore, you realize that your old author has a new book coming out. You turn away, pretending disinterest, but that information stays in the back of your mind. More research—purely for mockery purposes of course—reveals a summary and several reviews.

The reviewers love it. Sheep, you call them.

The summary is lauded as exciting and unique. We’ve tread this ground before, you remind yourself.

The excerpt ends as a cliff-hanger. A ploy, you cry, a cheap ploy. But your palms are starting to sweat.

You try to read some Austen, but you end up throwing the book across the room. You ask the bookstore employee for the Booker Bread winner, and stomp away when they look at you funny. You find yourself sitting at home in your bathtub, just rocking back and forth because the plot, those characters, that cliff-hanger! Why are they affecting you this way?

Of course! This paralyzing fear is because you haven’t proven that you are stronger than this author, you have not proven that you can flip through this novel and just mock. If you were to just read a few pages the shakes would stop and you would be assured that you moved on.

It makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

So off you march to the bookstore—the waitlist at the library is too long and you must slay this monster now!—determined to just stand in the section and read the first chapter. That’s all you’ll need to prove dominance.

And you do read the first chapter and it’s all still there: the same awful dialogue, characters, and narrative voice…along with that evil, compelling thread of plot, the one that taunts you, teases you, promises that this book—oh, this book—will finally be the one to deliver.

You’re at the counter paying before you can rethink it, the cover slick from the heat and wetness of your hands. You have to take this home despite the twenty-five dollar price tag, you have to read and mock in private. If any of your friends saw you here they’d think you’d fallen off the wagon, which is just not the case.

You’re stronger than this. So strong that you can barely put down the book in the car. So strong that you skip dinner and take the phone off the hook. So strong that minutes after you finish the last page you’re on the internet looking to see when the author’s next release is due to drop.

And in that moment when your brain finally calculates that you’ve got a six month wait, you drop your head in your hands and cry. What happened? You’re smart. You’re educated. You know better. You should have some sort of self-control. It’s just a book, damn it. If you dislike it so much you should be able to just walk away.

But you can’t because that plot line that never quite delivers keeps pulling you back.

Next time, you know, next time it will be better. Besides, everyone has to have a weakness, right?

What’s your abusive author relationship of choice?

Feel Like Wasting A Little Time?

Go see Ask a Ninja and learn why you should (or shouldn’t) give gift cards to those you love.

Or you could wander on over to the Go Fug Yourself Girls’ website and witness what happens when books and fashion collided (in the early eighties).

If you’re an author searching for a way to give your book talk a bit more pizzazz, you should check out Andrea Seigel’s performance from a signing earlier this month (her website has just as much attitude).

And the Chick Lit debate carries on.

Golden Child

Sometimes the real problem with not reading is not the lack of escape, or down time, but the realization that you no longer have an excuse not to clean your house. To me, at least, getting caught up in a good book is a perfectly acceptable reason not to finish washing the dishes (it will still be there later) or doing the laundry.

You can’t do these things and read at the same time (well, you can, but it is hard to turn pages with wet hands), and you certainly can’t put down the book to do them because what if you’re just a page away from a stunning discovery. Or worse, what if you put down the book and then lose it!

Oh, the horrors I hear at the bookstore from people who have lost the book that they were reading. There they were, just about to find out if so-in-so is actually the long, lost daughter of somebody important and with that information whether or not her blood would be the key to breaking open an international conspiracy, when they had to leave the plane. Sure, you’re thinking that’s no big deal. They can pick the book up again in the taxi, on the train, or later in the hotel room.

But not if they accidentally leave the book behind.

I have about two customers a week, desperate to find a copy of the book they left somewhere. More often than not they don’t remember the title (which makes the case for why your title should be intrinsically tied with your plot and just obvious enough that this tie will register in the brain of the reader), but they are willing and able to relay all the salient plot points up until they had to put the book down. Their voices get louder, more excited, as they explain in great detail why they need this book NOW. And I’m sure, once we find the book they head immediately back to their hotel rooms, shut off their cell phones, and curl up on their beds to finish reading without any evil interference that would lead to further readus interruptus.

So it should come as no surprise to anyone that when I finally found a book that captured my attention, I simply didn’t put it down. It stayed in my hand when I left the train, and I didn’t put it down when I dropped my purse and jacket on my dining room table. And after dropping my things do you think I went into the kitchen and made dinner or did my recycling?

Hell no. I was too caught up in the world that Jennifer Lynn Barnes had created in her Young Adult book Golden.

Pretty damn amazing for a book I was prepared to scoff at.

I’d noticed the book while helping a coworker shelve. We’d been discussing her reading group where they’d been attempting to read Brave New World, but she was the only one who’d finished the assigned pages (and even she was bored with their choice). When I asked why she hadn’t offered up a YA book to read since she loves them, she told me that no one else was interested.

“Well, I am,” I said, ignoring the fact that I hadn’t finished a book in awhile. I figured I could always skim to get the important points, or just turn the discussion to a dissection of the genre as whole. Besides, YA books were short, thus increasing the chance I might make it to the end.

What I did not expect was to be impressed, especially by a book that has a cover reminiscent of the Gossip Girl series.

I started Golden on the train, and was immediately introduced to Lissy James—high school student, semi-psychic (she sees auras), who just got caught drooling in her sleep by the most popular girls in her new town. Ouch. The Goldens of the title are the popular boys and girls—the beautiful people—and while Lissy isn’t sure that actually wants to be one of them, she’s not quite ready to embrace the life of a Non (non-entity, or the rest of the school population) either. What she really wants is just to be normal, but thanks to her powers going all wacky and the sleep-drool incident, her chances of blending in are looking slim and she knows it.

It’s that knowing that I fell in love with, the wry humor in Lissy’s narrative as she looks at the world. She’s not prematurely old sounding as many teen narratives can be—she acts her age—but her powers give her an edge of awareness other teens don’t have and she uses it.

For two and a half hours I lived in Lissy’s head, and experienced her feelings and her relationships. Despite that, I felt that I got a well-rounded picture of many of the secondary characters through Lissy’s observations. If I were to complain at all it would be that the climax takes place so late in the book that I worried that I would be left with a cliff-hanger (I was not), and that the second book in the series does not come out until next year (just. so. wrong.).

When I finished the book I was excited again, rejuvenated. I found the author’s website and blog, searching for more of what she’d written only to find that this was her first book (and that she’d finished writing it at age 19). Damn it! Here I was, ready to rush out of the house to an open bookstore, and there was nothing else for me to buy! What was I supposed to do?

Apply this exciting reading energy to another book.

Sure the next didn’t rate as well as Golden, but I liked it. I was able to get through it and identify with the characters (a problem I had been having for awhile). Sure, I made some comparisons, but it didn’t dampen the joy of reading again, nor did it take away from the experience. Critical reading on some level is important, I think, if only to allow you to really enjoy the craft. If you don’t have awareness of word choice, voice and rhythm, how else can you identify what you loved or hated? The problem, in my opinion (and what was happening to me a bit) was that my own voice was getting in the way.

Thankfully that voice has chosen to shut up for now.

So what about y’all? Have you ever been in a reading or writing slump? What caused it? And what kick your ass back into the world again?

Useless Piece of Plastic

I had this whole piece planned for today where I would write about the wonderful books that got me out of my reading slump, and how wonderful that feeling of rediscovery is…but then I somehow managed to turn off my alarm and sleep in far too late. Suddenly I was faced with the dilemma of either writing said column in my normal half-assed and rushed fashion or showering.

Showering won.

Besides y’all deserve better than half-assed and my customers deserve squeaky clean (even if some of them don’t return the favor). So instead I ask you all to once again put on your materialism hat (despite what it does to your hair, or in my case, my psyche) and consider this:

When you receive something for free (or win something as a prize), do you appreciate it more if you can use it or if it simply something you can admire?

Now apply this logic to the doodads that authors send out, and leave your thoughts below.

For me this means that pens, pencils, post-its? Good.

Eight-bazillion bookmarks? Not so good, five will do unless you are Nora Roberts.

Small foamy car which, while adorable, does not appear to do anything? On its way to the local landfill.

(Personalized wine, by the way, would fall in the good, good, hot-damn-this-is-stupendous category. Yes, it can be done, and then classified as a tax write-off for business expenses.)

Lazy Linkage

During my four day blogging vacation (otherwise known as the time period that I cleaned, read and slept a lot) many people compiled lists of links worth your reading time, so please allow me to point you in their directions:

On Saturday, Booksquare posted one huge edition covering everything from fanfiction to self-publishing, the discussion columns commissioned by the Written Nerd about ABA and Book Sense (the latest featuring special guest Carl Lennertz of HaperCollins), why some books get reviewed and some don’t, the Chick-Lit brouhaha revisited (by Book Dwarf this time), the demise of the SF bookstore (when I really think that SF itself has a chance at a comeback soon), and Miss Snark using cookies to illustrate a point.

Over multiple days, C. Max Magee has been a busy, busy man posting the long list for the Booker, the odds for each of the Booker finalists and pointing out Nobel Laureate Gunther Grass’ admission that he was in Hitler’s SS.

At GalleyCat, Ron takes the New York Times Book Review to task for sloppy reporting not once, but twice. Seriously, if you are going to slam book bloggers then try to get your facts right. On the other hand, this all kind of makes me want to read this book despite the “Nabokavian” overtones.

Laila, of Moorish Girl, highlighted Kevin Sampsell’s meditations on the popularity of the book blurb (food for thought from a man who is both an author and a bookseller).

On the Powell’s Blog, Jeremy Blachman (author of Anonymous Lawyer) talks about why he blogs. Sometime this week or next I hope to have a guest post by Mr. Blachman (or perhaps a review) after which we’ll give away an Advanced Reader Copy of his book. Free stuff. You know you want some.

There’s a new bookseller blog on the net, so head on over and say hi to BookstoreDeb.

For all of you Novella writers out there, here’s a chance to win some money. PW reports that Miami University has started accepting submissions for its second annual prize must be postmarked by October 15th.

For any Manga fans out there, yesterday MangaBlog rounded up a series of mentions of manga in the news. Maybe this is what we need to get kids reading the newspaper.

And finally, why don’t I have this book in my store? I was just wandering around a local independent when a small face-out of this title captured my attention with its compelling cover (and then kept it with the story found within the pages). Why haven’t I ever heard of Matthew Henson before? Given that he’s the “only person to be awarded National Geographic Societies Hubbard Medal posthumously” and his story has all the great elements of discovery and overcoming adversity, I’m highly disappointed in my education. Run out and buy this for all the school near you.

I’m off to continue my cleaning rampage, hope you enjoy your reading.

Here There Be (No Reading) Dragons

I recently went through a dry spell where I couldn’t finish anything book-wise. I grew bored mid-way through or started picking apart the writing style or the voice. I found myself harshly criticizing authors that I loved and older books that I’d enjoyed before. In most cases I couldn’t even start anything; the back cover copy wouldn’t grab me (or would just make me laugh), the cover itself was a turn-off, or something as basic as word choice or a questionable grammar decision will kill any reading desire on the first page.

It was driving me nuts, this not reading. I found myself watching more TV and mindlessly surfing the internet; anything to take my mind away from the fact that I couldn’t read.

This reading dearth didn’t seem to affect my job. I was still able to identify and order in books I thought my customers might find interesting. I could get excited about the books via reviews or their covers in the glossy magazines, but when they arrived?

Nothing.

What’s more is that I could enjoy how the looked on the table; fresh, new covers stacked in a neat pyramid formation to replace the stale titles. On the table they were intriguing, each book popping against the others top catch a reader’s attention, but once I picked them up I lost all interest.

I began to wonder if I was depressed or not getting enough sleep. Could that affect my reading habits? Of course it never had before, but people change right? Maybe it was my diet?

Name a neurotic possibility and I probably considered it: sleep, depression, diet, sickness, Mono? Could I have Mono?

(At least then my non-reading period could have been the result of some fun.)

But no, I was not sick (I didn’t even have a fever until after my reading dry spell broke), my diet had not changed and I didn’t feel depressed. As for sleep, well, that’s an iffy proposition for me if it’s hot out, but heat I could combat.

My problem, I believe, came from over-analysis. It came from viewing each book I handled as a thing to be marketed, a commodity to be bought or sold. I had stopped considering plot and instead focused on how I could talk a book club into such-and-such author or one of my regulars into following X series. Somehow it had changed from finding the right books for the customers to finding the right customers for the books, a set list that I kept in the back of my brain, the guaranteed would sells, not the possible could-sells.

I got caught in a box of my own making, and while it was still about believing in the titles I was pushing I wasn’t able to move beyond them.

I wasn’t able to just breathe in the smell of ink on paper and enjoy.

With all of our talk about marketing, bookseller/author relations, viral buzz and such I’d forgotten that sometimes a book can capture you just because.

Just because the writing—however flawed—speaks to you.

Just because one of the characters reminds you of your best friend.

Just because it is silly and over the top.

Just because it made you cry by the third chapter.

Just. Because.

It’s indefinable and indescribable. It’s what makes a book your favorite, what fills your voice with that passion, that conviction, when you talk the book up to others.

And if you’re looking for it—if you’re trying to come up with the magical algorithm that will explain life and the universe as we know it—then you’re going to miss the point. You’re going to miss loving that book because you’re not going to give it the chance it deserves.

There is something about browsing through a store, picking up a book you know absolutely nothing about, and being transported to a place you never imagined. In that moment you authors take control of our minds and thoughts with your words and make us realize that there is something beyond.

And for that I thank you.

Because not having being able to experience that feeling, being devoid of the escape?

It was horrifying.

So once again, let’s put this in perspective. Your book may only sell 10,000 in a 100,000 print run. Maybe because of timing, or a bad cover, or no publicity. It may be deemed a failure.

But if that book gave just one reader a chance to escape life and instead live through your characters and words then not only have you done your job, but you’ve accomplished a hell of a lot more than some people in this world.

That may not carry over well into a paycheck, but it means a whole bunch to me and any other reader out there that used you to break their dry spell.

It’s a lonely place to be when you don’t have your words (or someone else’s) to describe it.

And Cinderella Said to Briar Rose, “This All Feels Strangely Familiar.”

My venturing into YA started when Teacher Chick (who has asked to be referred to as Hot Teacher Chick on this blog much to my amusement) and I were discussing fairy tales, specifically books based on the fairy tales that we loved as children. She had just finished reading Briar Rose by Jane Yolen (retelling of Sleeping Beauty set during the Holocaust) and I’d just discovered Bound by Donna Jo Napoli (a retelling of Cinderella set during the Ming Dynasty in China, usually shelved in the 9-12 year old section). We decided that we wanted to do a back forth on Children’s/Young Adult books based on fairy tales and how that affected our own perceptions of these tales as we got older. This, of course, necessitated that we read more books (oh darn), and for that I need your help.

I know that Yolen’s book falls into a series of fairy tale retellings from Tor Teen, but I haven’t had a chance to track them down. If you have any favorites, or know of any particularly well written titles that we should read, please pass that information along. Furthermore if you know of any books or websites that discuss the origins of the fairy tales Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and others, we’d love to hear about it.

Every once in a while we like to prove that we still use the analytical skills we learned in college, but we need help from your collective brains to make it so. Also I would love to hear your thoughts on fairy tale retellings. Do they work for you? Are you thrown when something uses elements you recognize from a well known fairy tale or does it enrich the experience for you? Does this factor in at all when you are reading?

Teen Angst Years Too Late?

I’m trying to get my brain to function, but the cursor is mocking me. There is no coffee in the house, the tea isn’t working, and I might have to throw myself into a cold shower to achieve full wakefulness. I’m hoping and praying that my customer (who looks like Anne Bancroft’s character forty years after her Graduate expiration date) has decided that we are no longer worth her time or persecution complex. Even her nice personality makes me jumpy now because I keep waiting for her to snap (“Will it be when I tell her that book isn’t discounted or when I tell her it is not in paperback?”).

But enough about me, we must celebrate because my SB Day entry made Erin remember Christopher Pike (and the Last Vampire series of which I maintain the first book is still the best) and a lot of people celebrate the works Zilpha Keatley Snyder (I loved the Egyptian Game), Ray Bradbury and others. So to carry on the discussion of YA literature, let’s talk about what works for you as a reader (or worked for you) and what doesn’t. For those of you who’ve read the newer titles, does the constant product dropping annoy you? Does it detract from the story? Are there books that involve teens and teen social commentary that don’t do this?

When was the last time you wondered into the Young Adult section and really took a look? Were you surprised at the changes in selection from when you were a kid?

Have you picked up a YA book to read lately?

I’ve been on a YA reading kick lately and I desperately want to talk to people about it. There are some amazing books out there as well as some entertaining ones that I forgot moments after reading. So tell me your thoughts on the subject of YA.

I’m going to go jump in the shower before I fall asleep on the couch.


Off topic:

Penguin dropped me a line yesterday to mention that Daniel Silva has a podcast up on their site. Silva’s one of those authors that I always hear amazing things about, but have never had a chance to read. I would love to hear your opinion of him as well.

Link Love

M.J. Rose (of Buzz, Balls and Hype) talks about the dangers of comparisons when it comes to explaining your novel. I agree with her idea on using focus groups to help summarize a book’s concept (especially if I can be part of them). Link via Alison Kent.

As always Powell’s Book Blog had a very informative list of links up yesterday including this remaindering horror story as perpetuated on Caitlin R. Kiernan by her publisher. Very bad form, Penguin, but an excellent explanation as to why I couldn’t get these books in stock for a customer.

The, uh, good folks at Killer Year are very helpful, so helpful that they have provided “20 Surefire Tips to Help You Get Your Book (not) Published.” It’s great advice from a group of people who (all together) know more than 300 ways to kill you if you disagree, so smile pretty and take your notes in sparkly pen.

A few weeks back Tess Gerritsen discussed hype (both its good and bad affects) and the “Whatever Happen To…?” authors. Good food for thought and discussion. I especially agree with this advice:

A loyal reader is far better than the casual reader who just picks up your book because of media hype. The loyal reader will forgive you the occasional dud, because she knows you’ve done better. The casual reader will read that dud and never pick up another one of your books.

C. Max Magee of the Millions covers the “10 Most Dangerous Books” list as provided by Human Events and his thoughts on the power (and dangers) of labeling.

Dear Author has a column from Jolie, the intrepid bookseller, about the RWA conference this year and the bookseller tea. I’m appalled at the lack of support for booksellers, but I’m intrigued by tea aspect (as long as it is not Stash). Still I’m saddened by the complete lack of planning that seemed to have gone into the event. They could have at least provided name tags.

Over at The Publishing Spot, Jason Boog is interviewing Christa Faust the author of the novelization of Snakes on a Plane (she also wrote the novel of Final Destination 3). It sounds like she’s a pretty funny lady.

And finally, your future competition in Children’s Literature from Pearls Before Swine. (Click on the picture to enlarge.)


I really could have used this book as a kid.

SB Day: Werewolves of London

“He's the hairy, hairy gent, who ran amok in Kent. Lately he's been overheard in Mayfair. You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim. Huh, I'd like to meet his tailor.” --Warren Zevon’s “Werewolves of London”

On this Smart Bitches Day I would like to announce that any and all love I have for the paranormal romance genre can be blamed on L.J. Smith, Christopher Pike, and Warren Zevon. The Young Adult section of my childhood is nothing compared to the YA sections that inhabit stores now, full of subgenres based on every teenage situation possible. Back in my day (when we weren’t trudging fifty miles up hill or whatever) YA was just a few shelves—a bay at most—and filled with books that I’d finished long before reaching puberty (like when I was around 8) or Lurlene McDaniel whose books seemed to be composed purely to work in as many horrific deaths of her young, attractive protagonists by unpreventable diseases as possible).

(Side note: I’ve often found that the bubble gum angst teens who love McDaniel also love A Child Called It and feel the need to exclaim how it is the “best—book—evah!” loudly within the confines of my store.)

For those of us looking for something a little more interesting our only hopes were Smith, Pike, or convincing our parents that adult books are a great and wonderful thing for all. Smith with her Vampire Diaries and Night World series (did she ever finish that series?) and Pike with Remember Me, Witch, The Last Vampire series skirted the outright horror that R.L. Stine embraced and mixed plots that were equal parts romance, wish fulfillment and supernatural with some blood mixed in for color. They took teenagedom and allowed ghosts, vampires, werewolves and witches to play the main roles, and they hooked an eleven year old girl on the path of paranormal love.

Because really, who wouldn’t (or didn’t) want powers when they were in school, whether it was super strength or mind control? And what girl hasn’t had a crush on a broody guy, so why shouldn’t have a reason to brood within a supernatural world. Pike particularly (as I recall, it has been a very long time) was good at writing a female protagonist who was strong and appealing (Remember Me, Witch and The Last Vampire series were all told from a female point of view) while L.J. Smith’s Night World series followed the trials and tribulations of teen love between different aspects of the Night World races.

It is with fondness that I remember these books, and it is this fondness that I feel when I come across a new paranormal romance. Special powers and epic love? Helloooo escapism, bring it on. A good paranormal for me is just as soothing as extra salty fries and a chocolate milkshake after a bad day, which is why I’m said that the sub-genre as a whole is being to suffer from a glut of work that at times feels recycled. The world, as a whole, is filled with mythology, from the Green Man to the Gods and Goddess of Egypt and while some themes tend to overlap there’s enough out there to give a new twist on that old vampire tale. Of course, maybe vampires are all getting staked, I’ve noticed that angels might be the hot new thing. As for werewolves, well, I can’t think of them without thinking of Warren Zevon (for which I blame my parents). It’s not that I can’t enjoy a good shape-shifter romance without letting the hairier details get in the way, it’s just that in the back of my mind I’m wondering, “But what if he slips his leash and mauls someone?” Or Zevon warns:

“Ya hear him howlin around your kitchen door, ya better not let him in. Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London again.”

I like my limbs all attached, thank you.

What books from childhood have affected your adult reading choices?

Table Love

As I’ve mentioned before, we have a table at the front of our store that doesn’t conform to any merchandising planners (nor does it exist on them), and we fill it up with titles we believe will interest our customers. The following books proved to not only be interesting to us, but several of our customers as well:

The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh (ISBN: 0375758771)

The publisher says:

Set in Burma during the British invasion of 1885, this masterly novel by Amitav Ghosh tells the story of Rajkumar, a poor boy lifted on the tides of political and social chaos, who goes on to create an empire in the Burmese teak forest. When soldiers force the royal family out of the Glass Palace and into exile, Rajkumar befriends Dolly, a young woman in the court of the Burmese Queen, whose love will shape his life. He cannot forget her, and years later, as a rich man, he goes in search of her. The struggles that have made Burma, India, and Malaya the places they are today are illuminated in this wonderful novel by the writer Chitra Divakaruni calls “a master storyteller.”

I say:

Both PW Weekly and Library Journal seemed to like this novel (which matters not a wit to my customers or you, I’m sure), but it’s the delicate look to the cover that gets them to pick it up, and the prose inside that gets them to the register. Fans of The Kite Runner might want to check this out.

Life Is So Good by George Dawson and Richard Glaubman (ISBN: 0141001682)
The publisher says:

In this remarkable book, 103-year-old George Dawson, a slave's grandson who learned to read at age 98, reflects on his life and offers valuable lessons in living as well as a fresh, firsthand view of America during the twentieth century. Richard Glaubman captures Dawson's irresistible voice and view of the world, offering insights into humanity, history, hardships, and happiness. From segregation and civil rights, to the wars, presidents, and defining moments in history, George Dawson's description and assessment of the last century inspires readers with the message that-through it all-has sustained him: "Life is so good. I do believe it's getting better."

I say:

I think this book should be required reading for every high school English class who’s complained about having to read the classics and every book group who has lost sight of the fact that books are a joy and reading an escape not everyone has. Dawson and Glaubman’s partnership has produced a book that addresses Dawson’s personal struggle to read and his life as it represents the struggles of his entire culture over a turbulent century. If you’re looking for an engaging biography to read, this is it, and my customers seem to agree with me.

Thirty-Three Teeth by Colin Cotterill (ISBN: 156947429X)*

The publisher says:

Feisty Dr. Siri Paiboun is no respecter of persons or Party; at his age he feels he can afford to be independent. With the assistance of Mr. Geung, an autistic lab technician, and Nurse Dtui, whose nickname means “Fatty”, he elucidates the cause of mysterious deaths even if he must defy the incumbent Communist bureaucracy to do so. In this, the second novel in the series, he travels to Luang Prabang where he communes with the deposed king who is resigned to his fate: it was predicted long ago. And he attends a conference of shamans called by the Communist Party to deliver an ultimatum to the spirits: obey Party orders or get out. But as a series of mutilated corpses arrives in Dr. Siri’s morgue, and Nurse Dtui is menaced, he must use all his powers—forensic and shamanic—to discover the creature—animal or spirit—that has been slaying the innocent.

I say:

Soho Crime always seems to put out books with a unique spin on the mystery genre and Thirty-Three Teeth is no exception. Gore sits side by side with humor in an uncommon cultural setting (Laos), and a sharp characterization ties it all together. Being in an area heavily populated by mystery readers, my customers have fallen in love with this book with absolutely no hand-selling help from me.

To Feel Stuff by Andrea Seigel (ISBN: 0156031507)*

The publisher says:

Meet Elodie Harrington, college student and medical anomaly. From chicken pox to tuberculosis, Elodie suffers such a frequent barrage of illnesses that she moves into the Brown University infirmary. When charismatic Chess Hunter enters the infirmary with two smashed knees, he and Elodie begin an intense affair, but Chess is only a visitor to Elodie's perpetual state of medical siege. As he heals, he moves back to his former life. Elodie heads in the other direction and begins to see a ghost. When Professor Mark Kirschling, M.D., gets wind of Elodie, he's convinced he can make his professional mark by cracking her case but he's entirely unprepared for what he's about to encounter.Andrea Seigel has found a wry, ingenious way to explore the contrast between the first frisson of mortality and a life lived in defiance of it.

I say:

I hate the title and the cover weirds me out, but apparently both do their job because just a day or two after setting our copies on the table we’d sold through. Now I want to know why they are so fascinated. If you’re looking for interesting characters placed in fantastical circumstances, here’s the book for you.

*Both Thirty-Three Teeth and To Feel Stuff dropped before their August 1st release date by at least a week.

Clarification On The Public Service Announcement

On the “Public Service Announcement” thread River Falls said:

“Please, please, please don't take your anger out on the authors these callers are pushing. It's possible that it's not even the publisher-based publicist who's ringing you, but the media escort, trying to arrange stock signings for an author coming into town. If you only have 2 copies to sign, for example, the escort might want to spare an already exhausted author a 40-minute drive for what might feel like an exercise in humiliation. Authors usually never meet the escort until they step through the security gate at the airport, so it's unfair to punish the authors for someone else's actions.”

A very legitimate response to my little rant, so let me make it perfectly clear that I don’t hold authors responsible for the actions of their publicists or publishers. You can’t control other people and no one has more invested in their book’s continued success than an author (which is why when an author does act up I’m always left wondering why the hell they are shooting themselves where it hurts: their precious book). I also completely understand why an author wouldn’t want to go 40 miles out of the way to sign two copies, nor would I expect them to. It was a rare author who stumbled through the door of my old store, situated as we were deep in the ‘burbs, and that was fine and dandy. We tried to make those who did make it feel welcome.

My current store is one of ten in a ten mile radius, walk a few blocks in just about any direction and you will hit another bookstore. I usually know when an author is going to be in town. Hell, I can probably guess what hotel they will be staying at, and by the time they get here I will know where the signing will be held. Now, one can argue that signing at every store in such a small area would be over-saturation, but with signed copies commanding a longer shelf life it just gives people more options to find said author’s John Hancock when they realize that Aunt Bertha from Michigan is just the biggest fan ever and a signed copy of the latest opus will guarantee their spot as favorite niece or nephew and a half the farm when she kicks the bucket. Authors that work the autographing world best know that signing a book isn’t just about making a note to the person standing in front of them, but about getting them to realize that they need to get signed copies for all of their friends for whatever the occasion.

(Side note/example-ish thing: despite my love for Gregory Maguire I had him sign only one copy of Wicked to my mother, the real Wicked Witch of the West, because I knew she would get a kick out of it. Had I not been poor I would have gotten him to sign another copy for me, never mind the copy I already owned, but as it is I get my mother’s copy in her will so I call it good.)

I also want to make it clear that I don’t expect my cushy urban store placement to net me visits from every author who flies through town. I don’t. I understand being tired and cranky and wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed. I understand that seeing people when you don’t want to sucks. And I definitely understand that being forced to be around people when you feel this way is the equivalent of having needles jammed into the soles of your feet. I do work retail, after all, and there are days where it feels like my smile is plastered on my face. As the author you have control of whom (who?) and when you visit. If two books at a store aren’t enough to counteract the mental anguish you suffered the last four hours next to a gentleman who apparently never heard of deodorant or habitual bathing then don’t go to the store. Go have a stiff drink. If you do come to my store after having dealt with that, not only would you get a medal but I would spring for the tequila shots to numb the pain.

That’s a promise (and I only drink good tequila, so it is not like I would skimp out).

But attitude from a publisher or a publicist who are also getting money out of this endeavor baffles me. More often than not I’m left with the impression that the person calling views this part of the job as a hassle and booksellers as some sort of necessary evil. “Good Lord, why can’t I just sell everything through Amazon so I don’t have to deal with these under-educated fools? They do work mall retail after all, it’s not like could get a real job with an independent. God forbid I pay attention to the words that are coming out of their mouths. What do I care if you can get more copies in by the time my author is in town, I want hard numbers now!”

When this attitude comes from the publisher I tend to write it off as some intern getting stuck with the job they see no point in, and when it came from the publicists I assumed (erroneously) for a long time that they weren’t actual publicists—that they were instead some kind of weird escort/secretarial service who really needed to work on their happy face despite the fact that authors were forced to procure their services as a last resort. That’s why I started calling them Handlers because there is no way that someone whose job was publicity would act this way, right?

I know. I’m so naïve.

What I’m trying to say in my own, completely drawn out way is that I don’t blame the author when the publisher or publicist screws up, but I do raise a brow (and I definitely get irritated). I just want authors to know that when they come blowing into a store with their publicist on a whirlwind hand shaking, baby kissing, book signing mission, that the slight falter in the bookseller’s smile might have nothing to do with them and everything to do with the person escorting them. Do let it detract from the author’s main goal? Hell no because their goal is my goal: to sell books.

But I can’t guarantee that my poker face won’t reveal a twitch or two (I’m a terrible bluff).

And that statement might undermine my whole argument. Definitely time to go to bed.



Unrelated:

Lady T, I too got a call from Hubbard’s publishers only they wanted to know if I had any copies of Dianetics in stock and where I placed it within the store. It was probably the shortest and most subversively rude I’ve ever been to a publisher (actually, the only time I’ve ever considered being rude). Once I figured out what the caller was getting at and that he wanted to sell me more copies (something he felt was very necessary)—even though I had assured him that I had copies in the store out on the floor and not hidden in the back—I put on my most perky, airhead voice, gave an excuse about needing to go through the home office, and then ended with, “Oh gee, I have a customer, so I really have to go now. Buh-aye.”

I may have hung up before he could say goodbye in return. He gave me the same crawlies as the people who always call to ask if I want to change phone carriers. Not my shiniest example of retail goodness and light, but toying with him like I do the phone people would have been cruel. And unless Scientology has done something I don’t know about, L. Ron would not have been walking through my door anytime soon.

A Public Service Announcement

Nothing, absolutely nothing, peeves me off more than when I’m having an irritating day and a publicist or a publisher calls to see how many copies of a book we have in stock. It’s not the calling part—I love to hear from publicists and publishers—it’s the tone of voice they get when they hear we only have a few copies of their author’s book in stock.

“Oh, I’ll make a note of that,” clearly comes across as “You’re not worth my author’s time” no matter what type of voice you use.

I know you are calling because this is an author you (the publisher) are nurturing, or you (the publicist) are shepherding around and you want to make the most of their signing time. I get that, I really do. But let’s face facts. You wouldn’t bother calling at all if this author was Patterson, Roberts, King, Connelly, or Jordan (who doesn’t travel because of his illness I’m sure, but this is just an example) because these are big names, bestseller names, and if a bookstore doesn’t have their newest in stock (barring any faulty printing runs or missed deliveries) the world must be ending. And if you do call (and as a publicist you probably would) it would be perfectly acceptable to expect that a small, mall-based store have ten to thirty copies of the new hardcover.

The key words here are “small, mall-based store,” bestseller and hardcover.

Barnes and Noble says “Our B. Dalton Bookseller, Doubleday, Bookstop and Bookstar stores are regional shopping mall-based stores that focus on the mainstream consumer book market, with a wide selection of bestsellers and general-interest titles.”

Notice that they do not provide a square-footage for each store like they do with their full-size B&Ns (average 25,000 square feet and carry up to 200,000), and why should they, they expect you to realize that most (if not all) B. Daltons and the others will never come close to a B&N store size; they’re mall-based stores, not mall anchor stores. The same goes for Borders stores vs. their Waldenbook, Borders Express (converted Waldenbooks), Borders Outlet, and Brentano’s stores. Sure there might be one or two million plus stores per state, but even those are only a fraction of the 25,000 square feet the average B&N or Borders takes up.

Whereas a B&N or Borders might have over 100 copies of the newest bestsellers scattered about their stores in different displays and 20 or more hardcover copies of that interesting, upcoming author that the publisher is pushing, a B Dalton or Waldenbooks/Borders Express just doesn’t have the room. I can make a perfectly lovely, required front of store display with three books (two for the table stack, one for the section). If those two books sell, then I’ll order more. If I know ahead of time that an author is coming into town and I think people will like him/her, then I’ll order more.

If you call me to find out how many copies I have of a certain title a week before the person is even due and town and then get put out when I tell you that I only have two, but I can order more, I may become so overwhelmed with feeling that I will reach through the phone and smack you. That tone lets me know that you’ve never worked in a bookstore and have no concept of space allotment. That tone lets me know that you have no concept of the bookstore you are calling, so let me make it clear:

If you are calling a B Dalton/Waldenbooks/Borders Express just assume that it is small from the get-go, so when they tell you that only have a few copies (since your author is not the aforementioned Patterson, Roberts, King, etc) you won’t give anything away in your voice. At this point, if you are calling with a week’s leeway, chances are that the bookstore can get copies from a local distributor thus increasing their inventory, so jump into your little speech about how great author X is, honored with such and such awards, beloved by PW Weekly, Booklist, whatever and let the bookstore when and where the author will be in town. The bookseller/inventory person will at this point respond with a “that’s nice” or say “Wow, that’s great” I’ll have to order in more copies. If they answer with a positive then say something to the affect of “We’re putting together a list of stores to stop by at to sign if s/he has time, would you like to be included?”

If they say yes put them on the list and then have someone publicist/publisher re-call the day before. Why? Because shipments get lost or come in damaged and books sell down faster than anticipated (quite possibly because this guy or girl is the next new thing). Still, signed copies are five times more likely to sell than unsigned copies and the true point of doing drive-by signings is to meet the booksellers so they will feel compelled to a.) tell people how nice your author is, b.) give him/her a shiny spot up at the front of store and c.) hand-sell like mad weasels.

There are a lot of stores out there that might only start out stocking two or three copies of your author’s book, but they add up and so do their booksellers. By dismissing them you are dismissing the selling power of a huge chunk of your market. I guess that is why, despite this happening time and again over the years, this still has the power to annoy me. If signings were really just about signing books then authors would just sign at the warehouses and call it good. A drive-by signing is so much more than the act of putting pen to paper, and it irritates me that others--particularly those in the industry--don't seem to see it that way. A huge generalization, I know, but that is how it often appears, and why it bothers me still.

Virtual Advisor

I need to get into work early this morning to meet a repairman, so I thought I would let y’all do the work. Marta and I were recently emailing (well, I was panicking, she was emailing) on the topic of advice and she wanted to know what’s the best advice y’all have received during your internet searches?

How did using this advice in real life play out?

To this I’ll add: was it weird to realize you were acting on advice from a person you’ve never seen?

Thoughts?