Same Product, New and Improved Packaging

The whole Opal Metha affair came to a close (physically at least) for my store on Friday when we got the notice that Little, Brown was recalling all copies. Sometime next week they’ll find their way back to the distribution center and from there, I assume, they’ll go to be pulped. This unprecedented action is covered much more thoroughly (with many nifty links) at GalleyCat, but I really don’t think that most readers noticed, which is interesting to me for several reasons.

With the Frey incident I had customers coming and buying the book because they wanted to read the lies, I had others who wanted to read it because he “felled” the great and mighty Oprah, and still others that just heard it was a good book and didn’t care about the scandal. Sales of A Million Little Pieces actually got better for us once the scandal broke, pulling in all those people who avoid Oprah and all that she stands for (Or as I call them, the Franzens). We sold through our old copies waiting for the new printing with the apology letter from Frey and his publisher. To this day I have customers who come in looking for the book because their best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s cousin said it was the greatest.

Opal Metha’s sales did not increase (at my store at least) when the scandal broke, and until that point the sales had been less than stellar. One could blame the “demise” of Chick Lit for this, or bad product placement, or the fact that Opal’s author was trying to get through her second year at Harvard and couldn’t make the author rounds, but I think the answer lies elsewhere.

I was talking to my boss the other day and she admitted that in the beginning, she wondered if the scandal was being blown out of proportion, “There’s a commonality in the teenage experience,” and that it was only after reading the side by side comparisons provided by the Crimson and other publications that she was convinced that plagiarism took place. Furthermore it didn’t seem that Opal’s ethnicity added anything other to the experience (granted she hadn’t read the book, nor have I, so if it does indeed add something please let us know) unlike it did to Gurinder Chahda’s character Jesminder in the movie Bend it Like Beckham. Beckham became a sleeper hit because not only did it have an attractive cast, but it enlarged on the teenage experience of social and parental pressure by introducing the ethnic and religious element. Even if Little, Brown does release a new edition of Opal, I don’t think that it will achieve any measure of success (other than those who will buy it to compare to the original version, and even then they’ll probably wait until the paperback edition) that Beckham did because Opal has nothing new to add. It was the same ol’ same ol in a new, pretty pink cover.

If you have nothing new then you’ve got no legs to stand on in the book market beyond the first flash of being the hot precie on the scene. The Written Nerd has covered the topic of long legs (books that continue to sell and sell and sell some more long after their release date) much more eloquently than I, and I’ll only add that everyone from the smallest independent to the largest chain to the publisher itself relies on the backlist books to keep them afloat.

Those shiny, frontlist hardcovers just aren’t selling as well as they used to (especially with the cost of gas these days, goodbye disposable income, hello cheaper book), while trades remain steady (and lately I’ve noticed a bump in mass market sales, along with more bitching about the premium paperbacks). If Little, Brown does decide to go ahead and re-release Opal, their best bet would be to a paperback edition, and they need to make the changes and get the book out soon. In a couple of months I’m not sure that even the best publicity team could get the literary world excited in once again reading about the teenage experience.

After all, they all lived it at some point.

Perhaps Viswanathan’s best choice would be to write a memoir from this whole experience. Seventeen year old, Harvard accepted plagiarizer caught up in the publishing and packaging world from her point of view? Sounds like it could be a hit to me as long as someone made sure the words were all her own.

She could even publish it through Talese/Doubleday.

(Sorry, I couldn’t resist).

Phoning it in...

A friend and I were having a conversation about a certain comic artist's new work, and the friend said that it was widely believed that the artist was just "phoning it in."

Not really trying.

I feel like I've been phoning it in this week, not because y'all aren't worth the effort, but because I just haven't had the time (and tired when the time was available). Apologies to those of you who've been putting up with me for awhile, and for any of the new folk that have stopped by, this really is a place of books and book learning.

Now that I have admitted said phoning in, however, I feel no guilt by doing this:

You should really go read SB Sarah's column (and the comment section) on the whole Opal Metha fiasco. She says what I meant to say and says it well.

(Here's an article on Alloy/17th involvement according to the NYT)

You should also check out this article on fanfic (if the links still work), the writing process, and how we should all just get along. (Diana provides some other links here as well.)

Go forth, discuss, and I'll try to be better tomorrow!

Bloovies? Movoks?

How do you feel about:

• books to movies?
• adapted books from movies (ie the novelizations of (blank) screenplay)?
• books adapted from TV shows?
• and the fact that there are now Bones books out, which is a TV show inspired by the life of Kathy Reichs who writes books about an anthropologist that solves crimes? (Art imitates life that imitates art that...)

I would answer these too but I must go to work where there is no internet connection.

Look forward to your thoughts?

Your Strawberry Lemon Drop

Thank you to everyone who commented on Ms. Librarian’s question, and congrats to those who posted for the first time (may you continue to post without the chocolate bribery). We have two winnahs (drawn in the completely cheat free process of me writing all of your names on the back of an old shopping list, cutting out said names, folding them, and drawing the winners from a canister I got at a baby shower), so Molly and Martha Brockenbrough need to email me at the address in the sidebar so I can some place to send your prizes (if you wondered, Molly you were body wash and Martha, you were jasmine rice/wasabi). If you are allergic to chocolate then please let me know and I’ll find a suitable substitute.

I would love to do some sort of contest like this biweekly or monthly. Ideally I would like to do it with books as prizes, a way to get authors’ novels out there to help spread the word. Maybe some sort of “win it before you can buy it” with an ARC? I don’t know. I’m just stream of consciousness typing this, really. Basically I just like the idea of rewarding those of you who aren’t afraid to put your thoughts out there.

In other news, the whole Kaavya Viswanathan story has been covered all over the place to be sure, but I found this article at GalleyCat that makes a good point. The packagers at Alloy should have noticed something was up, especially if they are in the business of teen literature. Does that make her any less guilty? No, but I would like to see why no one caught his before, McCafferty’s books are considered some of the front runners in the teen queen chick lit arena, so don’t tell me that no one at Alloy has read them.

If you’re a fan of comic books, specifically Frank Miller’s work (but you haven’t been too impressed with his later stuff), then you might want to check out this link (snagged from Meljean). A fantastic take on the T and A concept only with male characters.

And if you’re in to fantasy then you might want to check out the reviews for Naomi Novik’s first two books (in a trilogy) over at Dear Author.com which is rapidly becoming one of my favorite sites.

And finally, when we weren’t amusing ourselves with this (and it provided hours of amusement due to the fact that we work in a mall and all of those people where there!), I won mucho bookseller points today by figuring that when my customer was asking about that “Greek book” about “building civilization” what he really meant was Sailing the Wine Dark Sea by Thomas Cahill. Thus proving that giving up my early childhood memories so that I could remember book titles was a good choice.

There was more that I wanted to share, I’m sure, but the lemony-strawberry-alcoholic goodness has caught up to me and it is now time for bed. Goodnight and Sweet Dreams.

Questions! Contests! Exclamation points!

ETA: Comments now closed so I can draw a name.

Yesterday when Blogger was being eeeeeevil, Ms. Librarian emailed me this question (as she could not simply post a comment), which I decided to use to help kick off a contest:

Apropos of nothing in particular, do you find yourself more protective of what you read as you get older? (I'm not sure I'm putting this well ...) For example, I find that I can no longer read anything in which an animal is abused or killed, even as a minor plot point. I used to be able to tell myself that such an event was illustrative of the evil of the villain, or whatever, but now, it just doesn't matter -- I won't read it, and if such a thing occurs after I've started a book, I quit the book right there. Is that weird? I also find that I don't put up with depressing books anymore. If it doesn't make me feel positive, I quit reading it. Maybe it's just that I feel like "been there, done that" and I don't want to waste any of my diminishing reading time on that sort of thing.

What do you think?

I don’t think it’s weird at all. Now we’ve covered this a bit before in “Book Therapy: Taking Your Place on the Couch,” but it deserves to be revisited. As I mentioned there that I cannot read books where a dog dies. I just can’t. I’m apparently fine when it comes to any other animal dying, something I didn’t realize until this weekend when I finished a book where a horse is put down. Now I desperately wanted a horse when I was five up until “the conversation” with my father (and I have to say, doing a cost analysis to convince your five year old that a horse just cannot happen is wrong, Dad, just wrong), and I’ve grown up around horses all my life, but the horse dying in this story fit. It advanced the plot. It gave the moment emotional impact and wasn’t something that just happened only to be forgotten a few minutes later. Had the death been for pure shock value I would have laid the book down and never come back.

As I get older I find that I’m more open to reading new genres than I was as a kid. Sure I was voracious reader even then, but I was pretty single-minded about it. It had to be something I could get my hands on, and more often than not I was drawn more to historical than scifi elements. Now, perhaps due to my job, I jump from genres to nonfiction and back again. I enjoy the diversity of the worlds that books can bring.

Sadly I have far less time to read.

“But where is the contest in all of this?” you ask. “I was promised a contest and quite possibly some chocolate.”

It’s simple. To enter this contest all you have to do is comment on Ms. Librarian’s question. Are you a more adventurous reader now or less? How have your reading likes and dislikes changed? What do you read now that you would never pick up when you were younger?

I’ll take all the names from the comments (including the anonymous ones, but please do something to differentiate yourself. Remember, you can always use your stripper name (the name of your first pet and a street you lived on), or your soap opera name (your middle name and the name of your grade school) if anonymity is important to you), and pick a name or two to win. Depending on how many people comment I might do this a couple of times this week. I don’t know. The prizes might be chocolate, or it might be a book, but it will be something worthy of putting your thoughts in a box and hitting publish.

I want this to be an open place where everyone feels comfortable commenting, and if that means offering a reward then so be it.

Comment away! You’ve got until I post the next post to make yourself heard.

Who knows if this will post...

I tried posting earlier, but it was eaten. My brilliance disappeared into the blogger void never to be seen again.

World Peace? I'd found the answer.

Hoffa's burial place? Well, y'all already knew that one, but I did have the exact coordinates for the alien invasion (along with a handy little map to all the safe zones).

The meaning of life? There too.

Sadly all of that was lost to the Blogger monster and I cannot recall the answers due to this strange degenerative brain disorder I've developed called "Oooh, pretty sun." It's been known to manifest itself in unusually wet areas when suddenly a large, glowing orb appears along with something called blue sky. Victims are helpless to fight against the symptoms and only time--and a tolerance caused by further exposure--can help mental capacity return.

At least that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

So there will be no Smart Bitches today. Y'all can be both smart and bitchy on your own (I know you can). I doubt there will be any dumb bitching too, as I'm not sure I'm capable of bitchery. You see, despite needing to build up my tolerance to this thing called the "sun" I spent quite a bit of my afternoon sitting on my couch reading a book. An ARC from Christine Fletcher's publicist to be exact.

An ARC that I spent the last five pages of getting all teary eyed over, which had very little to do with hormones, but quite a bit with the idea of growing up and growing beyond.

An ARC that now has me considering the nature of endings, beginnings, and what it really means to fall and then catch ourselves.

I think, however, that this contemplative state would be better served by some vitamin D. Let's just hope that my brain is done deteriorating enough that I'll remember the answers to these questions, otherwise you'll be subjected to more incoherent rambling to be sure.

P.S. Tomorrow, I'm thinking some sort of contest/prize thing. Don't know what the prizes will be, but rumor has it that the chocolate from last contest went over well.

Gorgeous Day = Good Reading

The sun is out, it's supposed to be reasonably warm, and if I didn't need to go to work and a baby shower today I would be out enjoying it. So go make yourself some ice tea, pack a little snack, and head out to your nearest park (after a quick detour to your favorite bookstore, if necessary).

If it's not sunny where you are, grab a blanket, a cup of tea/coffee and curl up on the couch.

Your bookseller prescribes at least one hour of reading (light and fluffy or dark and gloomy, your choice) to help balance what little sanity that any of us have left.

On Getting Away With Murder

Rosina has a way of making me think with her posts, which is probably a sign that she was an excellent professor. Last night, however, I was blog-hopping just to get tired enough to go to sleep, and instead (when I finally went to bed) my mind was filled with ideas and opinions. The trigger was a very interesting post she has on the artificial lines between literary fiction and genre fiction in which she says:

“There are some writers out there who are unapologetically not-literary-genre-focused and who are both commercially and critically successful. Burke is one of them. Elmore Leonard is another. Both of them write crime fiction, and both are very good at what they do. They deserve general praise and love and lots of readers. But I'm busy wondering how that happens. Why are some authors who write outside the literary genre spared the sneering of the crit-literati? Is it that some genres are lifted into the realm of literature over time? Think of the first big immigration waves from Ireland and Italy, and the discrimination those people had to deal with. Within a couple generations they were running city hall and giving fancy balls. With enough time they lifted themselves into the higher society and took their turns sneering at the new immigrants.

Is the crime genre like that? Has it been around so long that it's been subsumed into literati land? Any ideas?”

My answer to this is that it has nothing to do with time and everything to do with the nature of our acceptance of death and murder over sex and fantasy even when it is contrary to our own laws.

When I was in high school we did several plays a year, and inevitably anytime a play had a character of a sexualized nature (prostitute, courtesan, woman/man in an affair) someone would explain. We did A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, and we had several people complain that the high school girls playing the courtesans would get ideas. They would become prostitutes themselves. Never mind that the ancient Greek definition of courtesan had little to no resemblance to the chickie swinging her leather-clad behind down Burnside, who cares that many courtesans in ancient Greece became wives; we were doomed to be whores. These same people had absolutely no problem with a play where two old women kill old men to put them out of their misery (Arsenic and Old Lace), and were not afraid to congratulate us on our performances and choosing to do something better than one of those sex plays.

Why? One could argue that Arsenic and Old Lace is funny, and the humor negates the heinousness of the murder act, but it would have been the same if we’d done a serious play involving the same topic. Burke, Leonard, Lehane and others are all excellent writers (don’t get me wrong, I love these guys), and that allows them to avoid the criterati (as they shall now be known), but it also helps that murder and violence is pervasive and accepted in our society.

An eye for an eye, mercy killings, gang violence, murder/suicides, murder rampage: all accepted terms that make it on the daily news and on the paper. We talk about murder. We dissect why the preacher’s wife killed her husband, who killed Jon Benet, and what about that bloody glove? We’re asked daily what we would do to protect our families and ourselves. And we all have that moments in the office or at home or in the car when we think, “I’ll set the building on fire…”

It doesn’t matter that the characters may be more gray than black and white (because that’s what Burke, Leonard and Lehane give us) because the nature of murder is very gray. Was it a mercy killing or straight homicide? Vigilante or man looking for revenge?

Was it justified?

The very fact that we have terms like justifiable homicide and self-defense which allow murder and death to occupy a level of realism and acceptance in the literary world and in the real one. Sex is dirty, wrong, only between a husband and wife, or a man and a woman, or only for procreation (insert your qualifier here), and you certainly don’t talk about it, you hussy (which if you follow the entomology originally meant housewife). Fantasy and sci-fi are made up, it can’t/hasn’t happened, it’s not real. Murder and death are solid and not only in your book, but on the television, in the paper and down the street where the yellow crime scene tape is waving like a flag.

Agree?

Disagree?

Think I should have just hijacked Rosina’s comment section and done something else here?

I want to hear your thoughts because I have more of my own, but I don’t have time to write a really in-depth piece right now.

Colds, Memoirs, Characters and Link'o'lation

I woke up this morning to a stuffy head and sore throat. Had I been to a bar last night this could have been explained away by too much alcohol and secondhand cigarette smoke, but I have not been near a bar (when it’s operating in bar function) in weeks. I came home from working the closing shift last night and had a glass of milk, so no wild party there. This leaves only two other possibilities: it’s my allergies or it’s the horrible cold/flu my coworkers have been passing around.

I’m picking up some Theraflu before I had off this morning as well as some cough drops and throat coat.

And I’m crossing my fingers that this is just allergies.

I had planned to address the WSJ article, “Publisher’s Solution to Slow Sales: My Story (And His, Too),” but instead I’ll ask your opinion (if you don’t think this article has been beaten to death throughout the blogosphere already). Do you think the WSJ thought this out, or that they are just looking at the result of books picked up before James Freyed the memoir world? How do you like your memoirs (if you like them at all): the more horrible the life the better, straight up give me the truth, or where did all these people with horrible lives come from?

Then on my way to work yesterday, before muzzle-headedness set in, I was thinking about my Calculus professor. Actually that’s not true. I was thinking about books, and about how sometimes people remind us of characters in books, and that’s when I remembered my old professor. He was a tall, balding, very angular man. He had one of those faces where the skin looked like it was just tightened across the bone, all hollows no pillows. I remember sitting in class the first day, after the whirl of orientation week, and just staring at him: the height, the big nose, the big ears, the stooped shoulders. All these things that would have made him look like a lurch except they were off-set by the most gentle personality. And I remember thinking that he reminded me of someone.

He reminded me of the BFG, one of my favorite Roald Dahl character.

I must have whispered it because no one else heard my epiphany except the girl next to me who said, “You’re right. I loved that book.”

He never blew any dreams into my ear that semester, but he did cram my head full of calculus equations, which resulted in some math involved nightmares. Still love him though; you can’t hate the BFG personified.

Have you ever met anyone who reminded you of a character in a book? Good, bad, it doesn’t matter; I just want to make sure that I’m not the only one.


Also, if you’re bored here’s some great links to check out:

Meg Cabot has an interesting post on Writer Dos and Don’ts. Check it out and let us know if you agree or disagree.

I found Fuse#8 via Rosina and I think I’m in love (in a totally plutonic way of course). If you’re interesting in the life and times (and book picks) of a children’s librarian then head on over.

Diana mentioned him on a comment a while back and I forgot to tell her that I’ve been following Joseph’s blog for awhile (but haven’t gotten around to adding a link since I need to reorganize all my links). Go see the pretties (and the opinions) at Book Covers from the NYT Book Review.

Searching for answers

The other day I had a gentleman in my store looking for Deepak Chopra books. It wasn’t until I took him to the appropriate section that he told me the titles, at which time I informed him that we had neither.

“Why not? Aren’t Chopra’s books popular?”

“Of course they are, sir. They sell very well, which is why we might be between copies at this time.”

“How do you know? How do you know you’re between copies? Shouldn’t you check your computer?”

“I just rearranged these sections, sir, and I’m the one who unloads freight. We do not have these books. I can order them for you—”

“What about your overstock? Couldn’t they be in your overstock?”

“These sections don’t have overstock. Everything I have is out. I can order the books for you if you want, you’d be under no obligation to buy them, or you could visit our sister store down the street.”

He opted for the sister store after a brief lecture on why these books should be in stock and why I’d failed as a bookstore employee.

Really made a girl feel good.

Don’t ever do retail if you have self-esteem issues.

The books that he wanted had been released in 2001 and 1994 (last issue) respectively. They were titles that I hadn’t sold in over two years (at least, according to my computer in the case of the 2001 book), and I don’t remember ever having people ask me for in my time at this store. Whether or not a backlist title stays on shelf depends solely on whether or not it’s still actively being sold. If our computer system thinks that it is not active, the book shows up on a returns list and gets sent back. It’s not a perfect system, but that’s how it works.

I bring this up because Journal of an Avid Reader had a very nice snark/rant about her recent trip to a bookstore, and was looking for some sort of bookseller response. The short version of her story was she went looking for the new Wen Spencer novel, only to be told by the bookseller that the store was sold out and that the buyer probably wasn’t going to be any more copies in stock.

The situation differs from the one I offered above due to the fact that we’re dealing with a frontlist title. I can’t tell you why the bookstore wasn’t going to reorder, or what their reordering policy might be. I know that reordering is based on the judgment of the buyer on whether or not more copies are going to sell. This doesn’t mean that the buyer is always right (they are human, so frequently wrong—we all are), or that it’s not just a glitch in the computer system. Just yesterday I realized for the first time that my own system wasn’t going to automatically reorder Tyler Perry’s new book, despite the fact that we sold out immediately, and I had to go through the process manually. Until that point we (all of my coworkers and I) had been operating under the impression that “of course we’d get it back in! Diary of a Mad Black Woman sold like crazy here!”

Of course it took a customer asking for the book for me to question why we hadn’t been restocked.

In the case of A.R.’s Wen Spencer novel, it’s entirely possible that by asking for the book A.R. might have spurred the bookstore into ordering more copies. The bookseller mentions it to her boss and the boss mentions it to the buyer and lo the book returns, but this only happens if everyone is on top of it. With several thousand titles in a store, it’s very hard to keep track of everything that’s sold (something that harkens back to the whole To Compute or Not to Compute conversations at Written Nerd). Personally if a customer asked me for a frontlist title that I didn’t have, I would order it in no matter whether or not the customer was going to go on to another bookstore. For every person who asks there are five who don’t.

Who knows what the other bookstore ended up doing.

I can answer why the bookseller mentioned the format (hardback) and price of the book though. You wouldn’t believe how many people will ask for the newest Author X title and really mean the newest paperback. Or come in believing that the newest title will be in paperback. They hear the price of the hardback and suddenly they don’t want it. “It’s how much? Don’t you have the paperback? I thought this was supposed to be paperback.”

You hear this enough and you just start supplying the information automatically.

Is any of this right? I don’t know.

Should bookstores have better inventory systems? Definitely, but systems are run on algorithms and data entered by people. Screw something up and everything is screwed up. Not to mention that you still have to wait on shipping from the warehouse or the publisher. Nothing is immediate.

SB Day: Top 10 list Why Not (Heroines)

It’s Smart Bitches Day and my brain is a little dead, so today let’s keep it short and sweet. I present to you the 10 ways to know you are not a romance heroine (feel free to add on):

(Note: two or more of these must apply to you to gain Romance Heroine status, complete with Happy Ending and Man-Titty Galore.)

10. You are not all alone in the world due to some tragic accident that took your mother, father, and multitude of siblings while blessedly sparing you or a horrible illness that killed your doting widowed grandma just as you graduated.

9. You have not woken to find yourself next to a naked man you don’t remember, whose very presence fills you with an unexplainable and overwhelming desire to shag like minks instead of calling the police and screaming at the top of your lungs about roofies.

8. You do not have a boyfriend who lives, LIVES, to go down on you. No, no, you don’t have to reciprocate. He does this because he loooooves it.

7. You have not been bitten by a dark, mysterious stranger whose sharp fangs make you feel tingles in your nether regions.

6. You have not had a secret baby (How does one go about having a secret baby anyway?).

5. You have not been kidnapped by pirates only to be taken in by the pirate captain because he thinks you are plucky (and also because he really likes your cleavage, wench).

4. You have not had an affair with a billionaire sheik/duke/business man/Spaniard/Australian only to break it off because of BIG MISUNDERSTANDING that could have been solved by just talking.

3. You have not been mysteriously transported to another dimension or time to meet the Viking/alien/cowboy of your dreams.

2. You have never pretended to be a man to infiltrate a secret society, save your brother from his gambling debts, or spy on your most hated enemy.

1. You do not have long flowing locks, bouncing breasts that defy gravity, and a twiggy figure that could never support them.

Updates...

I finished off the update list:

Books you should be reading...

Dirty Picture Show? Censorship and Manga

There’s an interesting story being followed at MangaBlog about Manga: Sixty Years of Japanese Comics being pulled from the San Bernadino Co. Library System. The book was pulled due to its inappropriate nature for children when a parent complained, despite the fact that the book appears to have shelved within the adult section.

I sell Manga for a living; its one of the fastest selling sections in my store and one that grows in popularity each day as my Manga-intelligent coworkers add new titles to the section. We don’t separate the kids Manga from the adult though. Since the section is alphabetized by title the only way to tell if a Manga is explicit is if it is wrapped in plastic (that is if someone doesn’t unwrap it at some point). To avoid irate parents we’ve posted signs that say some of the comics contain adult themes suitable for older teens and grown-ups, but I’m sure someday I’ll have a mother busting my chops because her precious found an open copy of Sensual Phrase and “Oh Sweet Heavens, there’s sex in there!”

And, from what I understand, that’s a tame one.

Personally I think that the board member that ordered the book removal (in a time where Manga continues to grow in popularity and acceptance) was not only short sighted, but stepped beyond the bounds of his power. When we discussed books and store censorship here before, many expressed the belief that libraries had the responsibility to be the ultimate higher ground, accepting of all, while bookstores could be whatever they wanted. Do you think that the San Bernadino Co. Library System has gone too far?

Do you think this was an overreaction to a situation that could have been fixed simply by moving the children appropriate comics to another place?

Should this form of censorship be practiced by libraries at all?

Or is this just a little situation being blown out of proportion by the internet?

Booksellers of the world unite in laughter!

Found via Booksquare:

Stop Me If You've Read This*
(Publishers often repeat book titles, which can be confusing.)

No, really? There are books out there with the same title? There are new books out there with the same title? I hadn't noticed. Nope, not at all. I mean, it's not like I didn't have to deal with this at least FOUR times today (and I wasn't even out on the floor that much) or anything.

Sheesh.

Reason # 6,271 why you should always come armed with the title and the author for the book, so some bookseller isn't left reading off a page or nine of the same title.

(And telling me that it is also blue doesn't help in most cases.)

The sad part of this is that after I stopped laughing I remembered all the times when customers have given me a title and I've taken them to the book only to be told, "That's not what I'm looking for."

They then wander around the store for awhile only to appear later with a book of a similar title (not the same, mind you, but one sharing some of the words) and say, "This is the book," in a way that really says, "Gee dumbass, this is clearly what I said and you screwed up and wasted all this time for me. I had to find it myself, you incompetent cur!"

Oh joyous, joyous retail.


*I am highly amused by the story of the guy who tried to sue over the use of "his" title. I wonder if someone should tell him that he can't copyright ideas either.

Branding: its all in the logo?

The other day we finally got to move our Religion section (and by we I mean another girl and I due to some well timed exits by the rest of my coworkers), a cause for much celebration. Previously the section had resulted had caused contention between all of us due not to differing religious beliefs, but because it was packed so tight that none of us could move the books. Even those of us with small fingers were powerless against the towering wall of spines. We tried sending books back, only to have them return in larger quantities (“Hey, it’s Easter,” the company thought, “You need these books.”). We tried creating a separate backstock for the titles, but staring at if for long periods a time had the ability to induce tears. Shelving at all became a battle where we would pull two books to make room for one, never mind that all the titles had been stocked down the absolute minimum out of necessity.

It was no way to run a section, and we knew that, but at the time we had no alternatives. With the move, however, the section expanded from a three foot to a four foot gondola and gained a second gondola specifically for Christian fiction. Suddenly where there had once been backstock, there was now empty space thanks to the added room. Sure, we didn’t need to put out all ten copies of C.S. Lewis’s The Problem of Pain—one could ask why our store needed that many copies to begin with—but we had the room, so why not! There were face-outs even, despite the Da Vinci Code tie-in madness that resulted in even more religious titles than before.

Oh Happiness. Oh Glorious Day! We could shelve without losing fingers. We could actually alphabetize the section rather than just shoving the books in and running.

(Insert allusion to Holy Light or great weight lifted here)

Of course now that we had a Christian fiction section we had to weed the appropriate books out of regular fiction. It was due to overwhelming customer request that it had been created at all, and we couldn’t have it looking bare and neglected. There was no way to pull up a comprehensive list of the books in our store due to an inventory glitch, so I just had to go on my own knowledge.

In the end I found myself relying on the imprint symbol on the spine of the book more than my passing familiarity with the authors.

Never before had I been so aware of the branding that symbol represents. In general I don’t tend to find house branding that important on the bookstore level. I don’t shelve Random House books together or give Penguin its own bay. There only to publishers in the whole store (Ellora’s and Silhouette/Harlequin series romance) that get that treatment by company mandate, and these are probably the only publishers that my coworkers could easily group by simply looking at the covers. With all the major publishers and imprints running around, it’s easy for a person to develop book blindness, and our customers (for the most part) are even more unaware of imprint signifance.

Does this represent a failure to “brand” on the publisher’s part or simply a failure on our own end to create awareness within our customer base? Do publishers want to brand at all? And as a reader, does this make any difference to you at all, or are you sitting there asking yourself, “What the hell is she talking about?”

On oversleeping, work and reviewers

I have approximately ten minutes to get ready for work, which means anything that I planned to write this morning (and oh, there were plans) and anything I planned to fix this morning (that lovely list of YA book recommendations, so y’all still have time to get in more titles or reasons for why you picked the titles you did). So instead, building on the theme started with my link over to HelenKay’s early this week (which had to do with Dayo’s response to Chick-Lit in general), and the thoughtful article that the Written Nerd wrote in response to the snarkiness over the Tournament of Books, I ask you this:

Is there anything wrong with reading for pure enjoyment and escapism? Should you also read things that you may not enjoy or is life too short?

And specifically on the topic brought up by the Written Nerd, should reviewers get a grip and realize that there are high and low points to every book, and that no one outside of a select few “elitists” pay attention to what they are saying unless there is a full-on reviewer dog-pile on the book?

There are books that I’ve read that I didn’t enjoy, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still recommend them to people. Take the Egyptologist, for example. Phillips does well with the macabre and combination of fact and fiction, but I felt that the epistolary style limited him in the end (making the book falter), and that he short-changed the readership where some characters were concerned. Overall I was disappointed, but I still offer this book up to people in book clubs because I think there are limitless discussion possibilities, and I’m sure that others will like it just fine. Should a reviewer not do the same?


So what are your thoughts?

Drop Everything and Read Day!

In honor of Beverly Cleary you need to stop what you are doing and go read something. I would, but I have to move religion today. Does alphabetizing count as reading? What if I have to sing the Alphabet song?

To help you out if you’ve been in a dry spell, here’s a couple of reader generated lists.

Books you should be reading…

Booklist the First

What are you waiting for? Go read a book!

Books You Should Be Reading...

(So just ignore the fact that they are shelved in the Young Adult or Intermediate section of your local bookstore.)

Tired of the same ol’ same ol’? Young Adult and Intermediate books are the new realm for storytellers to boldly go where they’ve never gone before, so if you’re in the mood for an adventure then check out this reader generated list.*

The Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud

Bartimaeus footnotes his thoughts, snarks at the wizard world, and helps save humanity even when he thinks the world might be better off without them. No where will you find a character as dynamic, sarcastic, and altogether morally ambiguous as Bartimaeus in his adventures with the humans Nathaniel and Kitty. First book: The Amulet of Samarkand.

Tithe and Valiant (Modern Faerie Tales) by Holly Black

Urban-gothic (fantasy) setting where “everything was strange and beautiful and swollen with possibilities.”

Any book by Scott Westerfeld specifically:

The Uglies and The Pretties (The Specials is not yet out)

“A future dystopian story about a society where everyone receives plastic surgery when they are 16 that makes them drop dead gorgeous. But what else are they giving up in order to live in their "pretty" world? Chilling portrayal of where our conspicuous consumption and focus on one particular type of beauty might bring us in the near future, suitable for both teens and adults who are interested in the barrage of "perfected" images that we face every day.” (Diana)

So Yesterday

It's the story of professional "cool hunters" who are the ones that invent the trends that everyone else follows. Suitable for anyone who ever wondered why we tried to follow a trend. (Diana)

The Midnighters Series (First book: The Secret Hour)

A group of children born at the midnight who has magical access to the 25th hour of the day and all the horror and powers that come with it.

Teach Me by R.A. Nelson

“Another Razorbill offering about a young woman who has an affair with her highschool teacher. Very real, very raw, very moving. Not exploitive or gratuitous, but a realistic and emotional portrayal of a very difficult situation.” (Diana)

A Great and Terrible Beauty and its sequel, Rebel Angels, by Libba Bray.

“NYT bestselling story of a girl in a Victorian finishing school who discovers a magical realm, but deals with issues of feminism, sexual awakening, class struggles, etc. Also, the covers are DIVINE. Sell themselves.” (Diana)

Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

“One girl's spiral into depression and invisibility after a serious trauma in her life (was also made into a television movie).” (Diana)

(Diana also says to check out anything by Penguin’s imprint Razorbill)

Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin

“Capra-esque examination of the afterlife.” (Diana)His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman

“They're about a little girl, but deal with some very very serious issues. Not children's books at all, really. They're about the nature of childhood and the nature of God. And there's sex. (They're making a movie out of this one, too, but Harry Potter it ain't.)” (Diana)The Giver series by Lois Lowry.

“The Giver won a Newberry many many years ago, I think, and she's recently come out with two more books in the series -- Gathering Blue and the Messenger. Another Future dystopian tale.” (Diana)

Ink Heart and Ink Spell by Cornelia Funke

“Truly wonderful,especially for those already in love with reading. It crosses over quite well into an adult audience-why they haven't yet escapes me!” (Lady T)

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

“The thief of the title is a young Munich girl in Nazi Germany who copes with the stress of the war by swiping every book she can get her hands on. One of the main characters is Death,who also is the narrator.” (Lady T)

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

There’s nothing like high school romance, especially when the boy you love is a vampire. Melanie says, “It may even be better than Bray's stuff.”

Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt

“Follows the life of Jethro Creighton through five Aprils, from the April beginning of the Civil War to the April of its end. The war, unsurprisingly, changes everything thing in his life, including his family. While still a boy Jeth shoulders the burden of supporting his family and running the family farm.” (JMC)

Trickster series by Tamora Pierce

“These are the story of Aliane, daughter of Alannah, the King's Champion, and George, Master of Spies, from one of Peirce's earlier series. Ali becomes embroiled in a political intrigue in the Copper Isles through the machinations of the trickster god, Kyprioth. Trickster's Choice is the tale through the early stages of planning a rebellion. Trickster's Queen is the heart of the rebellion, along with a few surprising twists and turns with respect to who the new Queen of the Copper Isles will be.” (JMC)

A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly

“Mattie has ambitions beyond marriage and life on the family farm, despite the attentions of a handsome neighbor. While working at the local hotel in the Adirondacks, she meets a guest who later drowns. The guest left letters with Mattie with instructions to burn them, but instead Mattie reads them and learns that she was pregnant by her employer. Based on real life murder mystery from the turn of the 20th century.” (JMC)

The Tilghman Family series by Cynthia Voigt

“They are a little bit dated (one takes place during the Vietnam War), but still good. Set on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. The first book (I think) was Dicey's Song, which tells the story of how Dicey, a teenager, brings her brothers and sister home to the grandmother she doesn't know after her mother either disappears or is committed or dies, don't remember which. Mostly about a young person who is used to being responsible learn to trust and how to give up control to an adult. The other books are about her siblings, her uncle who died in the war, and then about people in her circle of friends. Solitary Blue is a good one of the series, as well.” (JMC)

Thief by Megan Whalen Turner

Here’s a review by JMC.

Abhorsen Trilogy by Garth Nix

“To preserve life,the Abhorsen must enter Death.” (Amazon)

Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko

Moose has a lot to deal with: an autistic sister, a mother obsessed with getting her killed, a new school and his dad’s new job at Alcatraz in 1935.

Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift

The four fantastic voyages of Lemuel Gulliver.

“One of the funniest, filthiest books I've ever read. I can't believe I missed it all these years. Of course, I doubt I'd have gotten the jokes when I was nine.” (Lisa Hunter)

Bromeliad Trilogy by Terry Pratchett

“In a world whose seasons are defined by Christmas sales and Spring Fashions, hundreds of tiny nomes live in the corners and crannies of a human-run department store. They have made their homes beneath the floorboards for generations and no longer remember -- or even believe in -- life beyond the Store walls.” (Amazon)

Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage

“At birth, Septimus Heap is carried away for dead, and his father, Silas Heap, is entrusted with a baby girl. When the villainous Supreme Custodian tries to assassinate the now 10-year-old Jenna, who, it turns out, is the daughter of the murdered queen, the girl flees to the Marram Marshes along with some family members, the ExtraOrdinary Wizard, and a young army guard known only as "Boy 412.”” (Steven Engelfried, Beaverton City Library, OR)

Summerland by Michael Chabon.

An American Narnia.

Help a Reader Out.

Doug just finished the first book in the fabulous Bartimeaus trilogy and will soon blow through the rest. Kate and I are cackling with glee, of course, because this means yet another convert to relay the greatness that is Jonathan Stroud, but I'm in a bit of a quandary. You see, I have yet to find another Intermediate (or Young Adult) author that captured me the same way that Stroud did. In my defense, I rarely venture into the Children's section at the store unless someone forces me (its a scary, messy place, people). I've gotten better than I used to be, but I just don't have the knowledge to give Doug what he needs.

That's where y'all come in.

Do you have any suggestions for great Children's literature books (ones that, in your opinion, are really much better suited for adults)?

Give me the names (and some reason why they are so great) and we'll compile a list for everyone because a good read is always appreciated.

See also: "One of those big questions" if you are feeling in a discussion type mood.

One of those big questions.

Today on Publishers Weekly's Talkback Tuesday they ask, "With The Da Vinci Code racking up big paperback sales and with the book sure to receive another boost in May with the release of the film, this week’s question is... Why has The Da Vinci Code become the bestselling novel of the century?"

In my opinion there are a number of reasons:

• It's a fast, easy read with short sentences and chapters that make the plot feel like it moves quickly.
• It combined just enough fact with its fiction to make people feel like they were learning something but not in a preachy setting.
• It was freakin' everywhere, man! I remember reading that a ton of ARCs were sent out, papering most bookstores (that's how I got my copy).
• It came at a time where there was a crisis of faith in organized religion, what with all the scandal surrounding the Catholic Church.
• It, like Harry Potter, came at a time where people wanted to retreat into a fantasy, wanted to have something they could disappear into.

What are your theories?

SB Day: His Ugly Manly Bumps

It’s Smart Bitches Day once again and I don’t know what to say. Have I truly bitched about it all? Maybe I’ve read such spectacular bitching by others that I don’t know where to go that they have not already covered? Or perhaps it’s just that I’ve finally used that massage gift certificate that I got for Christmas and now I’m far too noodly to bitch in a coherent fashion.

Not that I’ve really done coherence all that well. Half-assed is more like it.

Hmm.

Maybe this is the time—being that I’m all incoherent and sleepy—to admit that I have a secret corset love. Yep. Cinch me up, baby, pull those strings tight, and send me off to a ball where I can flirt using a fan and witty repartee. Give me one of those rakes, all feline and well read, and debauch me on the chaise lounge during the dinner waltz.

Does this make me less of a feminist? I don’t think so.

Does this explain my love for regency romances? But of course.

Only, see, there’s this problem. Most of the heroes populating these romances are all bulked up with man-titty cup sizes that make my own chest look slightly less than impressive. They have broad shoulders (which I have nothing against) and biceps the size of my head. Their muscular frames strain the seams of their clothing. And they are everywhere.

Absolutely everywhere!

Now did I miss something? Did the aristocracy of England actually all work in the fields, pulling the plows with their teeth? Did they throw hay bales and shovel muck and perform all other forms of backbreaking labor before going off to the ball at night?

If that’s part of the character you are writing, I guess I can accept that. If you, the author, tell me Lord Fitzmuscles finds nothing better than laboring in the fields with his people, then I’ll believe you. But don’t, DON’T, then have him spend all night dancing with nary a yawn. Do not also have him involved with every social event of the Season.

The human body doesn’t work that way.

He can still have muscles if he just boxes, rides his horse, or goes shooting, but they are going to be very, very different from the muscles of the laborer. Unless he’s going for the heavyweight title, chances are he’ll look more like Oscar de la Hoya, and less like Evander Holyfield (and even then Oscar has been known to have some scary, ninja turtle-esque abs). We’re talking long, ropey muscles here, people, not bunched layered slabs. The type of muscles that their tailor could still make clothing around, but would lovely to run your hands over during a midnight tryst in the garden maze.

If he’s a “bruising” rider then chances are he’d have really well developed thighs and stomach muscles. If he’s a “crack shot” then you’re looking at upper arms and shoulders. None of these thing create the all around meat-tastic models that we see on the covers or the Incredible Hulk build that inhabits the pages within.

Sure the hugely muscular man might sweep a girl off her feet, but he’s got to know what he’s doing with her once he puts her down.

Smart Bitches Entry of Some Sort Coming Soon...

Really, I promise. I just have to run some errands first. Until then, head on over to HelenKay's and check out this response to a post she made a couple of months back on Chick-Lit, and join the debate.

List for Bonnie (Cont’d)

Bonnie, I found one possible book title a couple of days ago (in answer to your search here), but since then I’ve taken a walk through our Young Adult section and discovered several more books that fit your qualifications.

Day of Tears (15.99) by Julius Lester

This is actually supposed to be shelved in Intermediate fiction (ages nine through twelve), but I’ve seen it misplaced before. Black and white cover with a silhouette (head only) that is gender neutral.

Ithaca (17.00) by Adele Geras

Black/gold cover with ancient Greek style pottery etchings. Re-imagining of the The Odyssey through the eyes of two young, female protagonists.

Falcondance (14.95) by Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

Third in the Kiesha’ra series, this slim, black hardcover has a silvery depiction of a falling boy with wings on the cover.

World of Eldaterra #1: Dragon Conspiracy (16.99) by P.R. Moredun

The story of James Kinghorn who slips through a portal to another world in 1910. Slim, black hardcover with cut-out to reveal a dragon in a preservation jar.

Looking For Alaska (15.99) by John Green

Slim, black hardcover with a candle on the cover (smoke swirling).

Johnny and the Dead (15.99) by Terry Pratchett

Black hardcover, gray gravestone with title on front.

Purple Emperor (17.95) by Herbie Brennan

Second in the Faerie Wars trilogy. Black/purplish cover. Male protag part of an ensemble cast.

Warrior Heir (16.99) by Cinda Williams Chima

Might be too new (release date on the computer was April 1st, but things have been known to ship early), but has a black cover with a large silver sword.

Teach Me (16.99) by R.A. Nelson

While it is a slim, black hardback, I doubt this is the book you are looking for due to its content (about a girl’s affair with her teacher).

(Your) Thoughts (and Addictions) on Books...

I'm one of those people who are susceptible to other people's yawns. You yawn around me and I'm going to start up.

It's bad.

One day in the store, I've got this guy with jaw-cracking yawns in the SciFi/Fantasy section, and I can just feel myself get sleepier and sleepier as I yawned too. Duriing a break between one of his yawn sets he turns to me and says, "I think there is an opiate in the ink."

And I, desperately trying to not expose my tonsels to the entire store, have my mouth covered, so I mumble, "Wha?"

"Opiates. I think there are opiates in the ink they use for the books and that's why we're all so tired."

"Part of some greater master plan, maybe?" I say because you get weird theories in bookstores all the time and you just learn to go with them.

"Probably, but it's too late for me." He grabbed a book and grinned. "I'm obviously already addicted."

Me too. The feel of the paper, the slide of the cover, even when the cheap ink rubs off onto your fingers: I'm addicted all the way.

How about you? What's your book addiction? What genre can you just not quit? What author, despite how bad they are, do you just keep going back to? Or are you a paper addict too?

We're all here to share and support.

Put On Your Deerstalker Cap (ETA: see bottom)

Hey ladies and gents,

Blogger is being weird to me so we'll keep this short. Bonnie mentioned on the Theories of the (Book) Universe thread that she was looking for this book:

...incidentally if anybody can help me locate the thin black hardbound book that may or may not have had a male face on the front cover and cost $16.95 or $17.95, formerly in the YA section of Borders, I would be forever grateful, 'cause I can't find it. It was last seen a month ago.

This sounds incredibly familiar to me, but we just did returns in my YA section so if anyone has a guess then post it here. Also on the book searching front, does anyone (now that there are more people coming here) know about this Harlequin Romance?

If we let our mental powers combine we might not reach full Captain Planet potential, but we might figure out these books.

Oh, and consider this thread open season for the "I'm looking for this book, but I can't remember..." questions. Do you have something you're trying to find?


ETA:

Bonnie, I don't think this is the book you were looking for, but you might want to check out Road of the Dead. It doesn't have a black cover, but it does have a boy's face and it would have been in the Borders YA section a month ago. For some reason when I read your description it's this book that jumps into my head.

Theories of the (Book) Universe

Last year I noticed that the car parked next to me in my parking garage kept changing. One day it would be an old Jetta, and suddenly for a couple of weeks it would be a new white Escalade, then revert back to the Jetta for a short run, and then to a new Black Escalade. Because we had assigned spots I was incredibly confused. It wasn’t like we could sublet our apartments, and there was no regularity to the car changes (from old to new and back again), but this whole vehicle revolving was really screwing with my head (mostly because I never memorized my space number, just who I was parked by. What can I say? I’m visual). I expressed my confusion to a friend one night, and this is what he told me, “Well, the way I see it; there are two possible explanations for this.”

“Please explain.”

“Well, the first is that you are parking next to a drug dealer who switches cars based on his cash flow. One day he’s flush with money and gets the Escalade, purely on a leasing basis, and the next he’s back to his old Jetta because some college kids aren’t paying up. Or maybe he just switches to the Jetta when he needs to do some dirty work.”

“Umm, okay.”

“Or possibly, and I really think that his is the more probable and logical explanation, the space next to you is haunted, and the only way to express this haunting is to make it appear that there are different cars sitting in the spot when in reality there has never been a car!”

“So you don’t see the Escalade right next to us?”

“Of course I do. The ghost is obviously trying to get my attention too.”

“I see.”

This story (which is greatly exaggerated from the actual conversation that I can’t remember verbatim—although that is the basic gist of it) is meant to illustrate a point. We’ve all heard it said that our ancestors created myths and legends to explain events or naturally occurring phenomena. The volcano gods were angry, that’s why the mountain blew. The harvest was bad because the Goddess was not appeased. The world was flat and that was why no one ever got past Asia (so don’t go tipping off the edge there, buddy). Eventually someone would come along with a new theory, and if they weren’t burned/poisoned/killed in some horrible fashion as a heretic (or even if they were) this new theory presided. We are compelled as humans to explain behavior and phenomena in any way we can if only to rest our minds, and if we can’t get scientific proof to back us up, well a story will do just as well.

No where is this more evident than in the bookstore.

At the bookstore we ponder the great universal book questions and create our own myths:

Why do they send us boxes filled to the brim with packing peanuts, cradling one horrible damaged book within the electrostatic depths?

(The guys at the warehouse are on crack, of course.)

How do the boxes get forklift holes ripped through them, and why are said boxes always packed in the center of the pallet, surrounded by completely undamaged boxes?

(See the crack answer from above with the addendum explanation of the rumored existence of forklift hockey/soccer.)

What is this mysterious blue book of which the customer speaks and where did they see it? Additionally, is there one blue book that could meet everyone’s criteria?

But no question is more pondered than this:

Who the hell is writing those Penthouse letters? No really, who? Because I gotta tell you that I’m seriously in doubt of the existence of some Bible belt cheerleader who found herself in a football sandwich on the fifty yard line and then felt the need to tell the world about her sexual awakening.

How do I know about Penthouse and its letters? Well, that’s easy. Once upon a time I had a coworker who—when the store was empty late at night and we were shelving—would have “story hour.” Story hour was never very long, thirty seconds or less really, and only happened when he was shelving relationships. There he would glance around to make sure there were no customers, crack up a Penthouse letters anthology randomly, and in his best British academic voice read whatever passage he first looked upon.

At was he (not I because was usually too busy reminding him that this was really not appropriate and trying to laugh and therefore encourage the behavior) that came up with the theory I’m about to explain.

Penthouse Letters, he believed, were all written by one woman who worked deep within the bowls of whatever building Penthouse is housed in. She was in her late sixties, a lifelong smoker, and had a special fondness for a man named Jack…Daniels. Every morning she would arrive to her desk late, take a sip from her Jack laden coffee, inhale a long drag off her cigarette (which she would then let hang between her bright red lipstick painted lips until the ash fell free onto her desk), and proceed to type letter after letter on a manual type writer.

“Dear Penthouse,” a manual slide across, ding, exhale smoke through nose, “I’m a Cheerleader from Austin…”

He couldn’t say whether she mumbled this around her cigarette as she hen-pecked each letter, but he did do a damn good impersonation of one of Marge Simpson’s sisters every time he told his story.

He’s long gone from the book business now, trying to find himself and write a screen play worthy of Tarrentino, but I think of him every time I have to shelve Penthouse (the magazine or the anthologies), and I think of his myth of the Penthouse lady.

It’s a hell of a lot more imaginative than my theory on the crack-headed warehouse workers.

So what about y’all? Any myths of the bookstore that you want explained or have explained through some crazy story? Booksellers do you have your own stories like these? How about for other jobs?

Let’s hear them.

The Latest Book To Render Me Obsolete

Greg Galloway's As Simple As Snow.

Back Copy:

Anna Cayne had moved here in August, just before our sophomore year in high school, but by February she had, one by one, killed everyone in town.

Anna — who prefers to be called Anastasia — is a slightly spooky and complicated high school girl with a penchant for riddles, Houdini tricks, and ghost stories. She spends much of her time writing obituaries for every living person in town. She is unlike anyone the narrator has ever known, and they make an unlikely, though happy, pair.

Then, a week before Valentine's Day, Anna disappears, leaving behind only a dress placed neatly near a hole in the frozen river, and a string of unanswered questions. Desperate to find her, or at least to comprehend what happened and why, the narrator begins to reconstruct the past five months. And soon the fragments of curious events, intimate conversations, secrets, and peculiar letters (and the anonymous messages that continue to arrive) coalesce into haunting and surprising revelations that may implicate friends, relatives, and even Anna herself.

I put it on the table, I walk away, I come back and we’ve sold down again. It requires no hand-selling or selective placement on the table (some books seem to do better in the middle or in the front, its weird), and the customer never seems to need to be reassured when they come up to the counter. In fact, I’m usually the one asking the questions:

“So what made you pick this up?”

“The tights.”

Over and over again, if the customer answers at all that is what they say. The tights caught their eye and the back copy solidified the deal.

So Greg Galloway, if you are out there reading this, send your cover designer a thank you note and some flowers.

Oh, and congratulations on writing what appears to be an incredibly interesting book. We're on our third reorder and if I can keep it in stock long enough I'm going to do my best to read it.

SB Day: A Hairy Subject To Be Sure

It’s Smart Bitches Day (which I’ve explained to death many a Monday before, but if you’re new to this sort of thing, go here), and I’m just a little peeved. You see, today as I was standing in my shower shaving my legs (or perhaps a more apt description would be leaning against the wall so as to not fall out of my shower and nicking my ankles), I was reminded about all those Romancelandia heroines out there with the smooth legs sans razor burn and bandages. They never have to spend the time picking out the best shaving cream or acknowledging the chill to stubble ratio of the weather. Their legs remain smooth even when they’ve been kidnapped by psycho terrorists and end up tromping through jungle with the hero. They have magical hairlessness despite being part werewolf. They are dowdy librarians whose creamy skin remains stubble free without bother or fuss.

Are they getting electrolysis? Lazar hair removal?

Is this a service that comes free when you are due a hero?

Do the Gods of Romancelandia look down and say, “Oh Susie McDogood is going to meet up with Rafish Muscles in a few weeks. Make sure to send her that coupon for a free day at the spa complete with bikini wax,” or do they wave their magical God hands and the hair is gone.

“Ooh,” Susie McDogood thinks as she awakens the next day all appropriately trimmed and hairless. “I feel so silky-soft. Wow. I wish I had someone to share it with.”

Enter Rafish Muscles through her window.

I mean I know Romance is fantasy, and shaving is well…not, and we all dream of NEVER HAVING TO DO IT AGAIN, but c’mon. Unless your heroine is not a mammal (but rather one of those reptilian species I heard populated an Ellora’s Cave novel), she’s going to have hair.

Especially if she is a werewolf!

Think about the comic possibilities people. Maybe she owns her own day spa to help keep the hair thing under control when the full moon comes around, and all the ladies who work for her can’t come up with a polite way to ask “Where the hell is all this hair coming from?”

What? You don’t think it could work?

Hmmm.

Well at least can we agree that this sudden influx of Romancelandia heroines who are completely bare down there (if you get what I’m sayin’ and I think you do) should stop? Because every woman I’ve ever talked to has struggled with not only the “how much is too much” question, but also the “ouch that hurts” moment. Go completely bare and you have to start thinking about grow-back and sensitive skin and shaving vs. waxing. You have to deal with the sudden sensitivity to everything, your clothing included, and how that may make you feel very, very unhappy.

The idea that there are these woman—some of them virgins even—prancing around hairless for no apparent reason makes me ill. Makes me wonder what kind of standard are we setting for ourselves? Definitely makes me wonder how no one else can see the slightly pedophilic undertones that can result.

I’m not saying that is it wrong, although the hair is there for a reason, but I’m asking for some motivation, some acknowledgement that its not all “Oooh I’m magically smooth.” Some respect for all the women out there who spend each morning judging whether or not they need to shave or just wear hose because really it’s not that bad.

Of course, those women would feel like crap if that was the day they met Mr. Muscles. But they don’t have to fall into bed with him immediately…

Do they?

Booklist the First

Compiled fresh from your comments, the first reader generated booklist.

Bethany K. Warner posted about her love for Watership Down by Richard Adams saying, “I have read this book many times and sometimes picked it up just for the El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle stories. In college, we were assigned a wonderful essay about this book and my roommates kept calling it the "rabbit book" and I was so distraught because it's about so much more than rabbits.”

Indeed they are.

Lady T went for a little more Chick in her Lit with Johanna Edwards, Your Big Break.

The plot revolves around Dani Myers,who works for a relationship break-up service and one of her clients requests her help in breaking up with a married man who turns out to be Dani's father!I know, this sounds very chick flick but it's a fun and funny story with loads of great side characters like Dani's brother who plays amateur detective (too much CSI watching) and an obnoxious repeat client who actually insists that Dani become his friend to broaden his understanding of women. Edwards is becoming one of my favorite female-friendly authors.

Follow the clues to your local bookstore if you’re as intrigued as I am.

Vicki chimed with choices for every age group:

Children: Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes. A less well-known, but very funny retelling of traditional fairy tales. It was re-released in 2003 so it should be fairly easy to find nowadays.

Teens: The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. This is the perfect fantasy book for the horse-loving tomboy in your life. McKinley once, I believe, described this as the fairy tale SHE would have wanted to read as a girl.. what more do I need to say?

Adult: The Sea Road by Margaret Elphinstone. A beautifully written, immersive tale of the life of Gudrid of Iceland, mother of the first European born on North American soil, and sister-in-law of Leif Eriksson.

Marianne McA is thinking about giving Lian Hearn a try, so I think it’s only right that we all consider checking out her choice, “I've just reread Lois McMaster Bujold's A Civil Campaign, and was thinking afterwards what a satisfying book it is. It's effectively a Sci-Fi/Fantasy version of a Regency Romance, and it's light and fluffy and funny. It is part of a long series, but isn't written in such a way that you need to have read the other books to enjoy this one.”

NJ Dave would like to nominate A Prayer for Owen Meany for Great American Novel of the 20th Century. His favorite read from last year was a “tie between Middlesex (yes, it's kinda mainsteam, but it's a great book) and Villa Incognito (Tom Robbins).”

That’s okay, Dave, I love mainstream.

Mapletree7 has favorites for every mood (something I totally understand).

In The Garden of Iden by Kage Baker.It's just about perfect, and it kicks off the best science fiction series currently being written.

On other days my favorite books are Gaudy Night by Dorothy Sayers and Spring Moon by Bette Bao Lord.

Milady Insanity seconds my Tales of the Otori recommendation (well, thirds if we count Marianne McA’s dh). Hazzah!

China G brought up the incomparable Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, “Storm Front is the first. It's good and the series just gets better and better.”

An excellent list all around, everyone, and I hope it gives you something to think about next time you’re wandering around the bookstore looking for something to read.

Until next time, Gadget.